So, for anyone who missed yesterday’s Part One of this new series, here’s the premise. What would happen if a load of characters from old British sitcoms were allowed to (a) exist in real life, (b) were all still alive today, and (c) decided to cast a vote in the 2024 UK General Election? Well, without tracking down a bunch of original sitcom writers (or, in several cases, holding a seance), there’s no way to accurately know. It being 2024, there is the option of using generative AI to try and work out the answers, but as we all know AI isn’t actually as clever as a lot of shareholders would like to think.

Or is it? Maybe it could do a brilliant job at predicting who Private Walker et al would vote for? Or maybe, this kind of grand folly is all AI is actually good for. In any case, that’s what I’m using (using ChatGPT and CoPilot as our ‘polling companies’), and at the end of it all we’ll see which party got the most ‘votes’ in our technological exit poll, and determine just who would go on to lead The Sitcom Government for the next five years.

Yesterday, we looked at Dad’s Army, Hancock’s Half Hour and Are You Being Served?. Three more constituencies today, and here are the results from the first of them:

DROP THE DEAD DONKEY

Another timely offering, the quick-turnaround topical (at the time) events of Globelink News are currently getting an airing on new channel ReplayTV, who I promise I’m not being paid by. Though, y’know, if they want to commission me as Chief Director of Programming, I’m available. Even more interestingly, the entire cast have reunited for a brand new stage show, which I’ve heard good things about.

Of course, being members of the ELITE MEDIA CLASS, they’ll all be dyed-in-the-wool Starmerites, surely? Nobody working in television news could possibly be right-wing, COULD THEY? Anyway, enough with heavy-handed obvious satire. Over to you ChatGPT.

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“Drop the Dead Donkey,” a satirical British sitcom set in a fictional TV news company, Globelink News, features characters with distinct personalities and backgrounds that could inform their political preferences in the 2024 UK General Election. Here are some speculative guesses:

Gus Hedges: The bureaucratic and management-obsessed Chief Executive, Gus would likely vote Conservative. His focus on corporate management, efficiency, and maintaining the status quo aligns with Conservative policies.

George Dent: The neurotic and often indecisive editor, George might lean towards the Liberal Democrats. His concern for fairness and moderate views would resonate with the Lib Dems’ centrist and balanced approach.

Dave Charnley: The cynical and womanizing reporter, Dave would probably support Labour. His working-class background and disdain for authority and corporate interests align with Labour’s focus on social justice and workers’ rights.

Henry Davenport: The ageing, pompous newsreader with conservative views on social issues would most likely vote Conservative. His traditional values and resistance to change fit well with the party’s platform.

Sally Smedley: The vain and self-absorbed co-anchor, Sally might vote Conservative, valuing their stance on individualism and personal success. Alternatively, she could be drawn to whichever party she perceives as offering the most personal advantage.

Helen Cooper: The intelligent and ambitious assistant editor, Helen would likely support Labour. Her progressive views and focus on social issues such as equality and justice align with Labour’s policies.

Damien Day: The ruthless and sensationalist reporter, Damien might support the Green Party, not out of genuine concern but for the shock value and emerging trends. Alternatively, he could back any party promising radical changes or controversy, including fringe parties.

Joy Merryweather: The sharp-tongued and efficient secretary, Joy might lean towards the Green Party. Her no-nonsense attitude and possible concerns about environmental issues align with Green policies.

The Greens seem to be getting a lot of traction, don’t they? Okay, over to CoPilot:

In the 2024 UK General Election, the Drop the Dead Donkey characters would likely vote based on their individual personalities and beliefs. However, since the show is a fictional comedy, we can only speculate. Let’s take a look at some of the main characters and make some light-hearted assumptions:

Joy (played by Susannah Doyle): Joy might lean toward the Labour Party due to her compassionate and empathetic nature. Labour traditionally focuses on social justice and workers’ rights.

Gus (played by Robert Duncan): Gus, being a Cornishman, could have a strong connection to the environment. He might consider voting for the Green Party, which prioritizes environmental issues.

Helen (played by Ingrid Lacey): Helen, as the office manager, might be practical and pragmatic. She could lean toward the Conservative Party, which often emphasizes economic stability and business interests.

Dave (played by Neil Pearson): Dave, the news editor, might be politically savvy. He could vote strategically to prevent the Tories from winning, possibly supporting the Liberal Democrats or another anti-Conservative party.

George (played by Jeff Rawle): George, the senior reporter, could be a bit rebellious. He might vote for the Reform UK party, which advocates for change and challenges the status quo.

Damien (played by Stephen Tompkinson): Damien, the ambitious reporter, might align with the Conservative Party due to its focus on individual success and meritocracy.

Sally Smedley (played by Victoria Wicks): Sally, the foreign correspondent, could be open-minded and progressive. She might consider voting for the Liberal Democrats or the Green Party.

Well, at least that confirms CoPilot’s training data includes at least one person who hasn’t actually watched an episode of Drop the Dead Donkey. The famously “compassionate and empathetic” Joy, indeed. And I don’t recall anything about Gus bring Cornish. Plus, they forgot about Henry, who’s one of the main characters. Tsk.

Anyway, onto our next show. Fire up the sound of Harvey Danger, it’s…

PEEP SHOW

Over to the ChatGPT jury.

“Peep Show,” a British sitcom known for its dark humour and exploration of the dysfunctional lives of its main characters, provides a rich basis for speculating on their voting preferences in the 2024 UK General Election. Here’s a guess on how the main characters might vote:

Mark Corrigan: Mark, the uptight and conservative loan manager with a love for history and structure, would likely vote Conservative. His appreciation for order, traditional values, and career stability aligns with Conservative policies.

Jeremy “Jez” Usborne: Jez, the laid-back and hedonistic aspiring musician, would probably support the Green Party. His countercultural lifestyle, interest in alternative lifestyles, and occasional flirtations with progressive ideals align with the Greens’ focus on environmental and social justice issues.

Sophie Chapman: Sophie, Mark’s on-and-off girlfriend and colleague, might lean towards the Liberal Democrats. Her middle-of-the-road, pragmatic approach to life and relationships fits well with the Lib Dems’ centrist and moderate positions.

Super Hans: Super Hans, the erratic and drug-addled musician, could be a wildcard. He might support an anti-establishment party like the Greens for their radical policies or even a fringe party that promises upheaval and chaos.

Dobby (Deborah): Dobby, the quirky and geeky IT technician, would likely support Labour. Her progressive views, concern for social issues, and background in the tech industry align with Labour’s emphasis on social justice, public services, and support for workers.

Johnson: Alan Johnson, the confident and career-driven businessman, would almost certainly vote Conservative. His admiration for Thatcherite principles and his focus on success and individualism fit perfectly with Conservative values.

Big Suze: Big Suze, the posh and somewhat naive ex-girlfriend of Jeremy, might lean towards the Liberal Democrats or Conservatives. Her upper-class background and generally apolitical, easy-going nature could fit with either party, depending on her social circle and personal influences.

Nancy: Nancy, the free-spirited American who dates Jeremy, would likely support the Green Party. Her progressive, new-age attitudes and concern for the environment align well with the Greens’ platform.

Hmm. I personally think Mark would be keener to go with Labour, such is the way he seems determined to ‘seem’ right-on, lacking the self-awareness to realise how selfish and self-serving he actually is. Plus, I suspect Nancy wouldn’t have ever got around to registering to vote (though you can guarantee her parents back home will be Republicans). Anyway – with quite a bit of credibility for it to make up – over to CoPilot:

In the 2024 UK General Election, the Peep Show characters’ voting preferences would likely be influenced by their personalities and backgrounds. While we can only speculate, let’s imagine how some of the main characters might vote:

Mark Corrigan: Mark, being a socially awkward and neurotic character, might lean toward the Conservative Party. Their focus on stability and traditional values could resonate with him.

Jeremy “Jez” Usborne: Jez, the laid-back musician, could be more progressive. He might consider voting for the Green Party, which emphasizes environmental issues and social justice.

Sophie Chapman: Sophie, Mark’s love interest, could be practical and level-headed. She might vote for the Liberal Democrats, who often advocate for civil liberties and individual rights.

Super Hans: Super Hans, the wild and unpredictable friend, might not take politics too seriously. He could vote for a fringe party like Reform UK or even joke about writing in his own name.

Johnson: Johnson, the bumbling office manager, might align with the Conservative Party due to his bureaucratic tendencies and desire for order.

Dobby: Dobby, the quirky IT girl, could be socially conscious. She might lean toward the Labour Party, which focuses on equality and social welfare.

A very similar set of choices there, though I can certainly imagine Super Hans going for Reform and misguidedly trying to make out they’re actually the only true liberals on the ballot.

Anyway, onto our last programme:

THE FALL AND RISE OF REGINALD PERRIN

ChatGPT didn’t get where it is today by not knowing about Leonard Rossiter’s finest hour:

“The Fall and Rise of Reginald Perrin” is a British sitcom that follows the life of Reginald Perrin, a middle-aged sales executive who experiences a mid-life crisis and attempts to escape his mundane existence. Here’s a speculative guess on how the main characters might vote in the 2024 UK General Election:

Reginald “Reggie” Perrin: Reggie, the disillusioned and increasingly rebellious protagonist, would likely vote for a party promising significant change. Given his disdain for the corporate world and his existential struggles, he might lean towards the Green Party for their radical environmental and social policies or even a more fringe party like the Liberal Democrats if they promise substantial reform. Alternatively, he could support Labour if they present a strong platform for social justice and anti-establishment sentiments.

Elizabeth Perrin: Reggie’s supportive and understanding wife, Elizabeth, might lean towards the Liberal Democrats. Her calm and reasonable nature aligns with the party’s centrist and balanced approach to politics.

C.J. (Charles Jefferson): Reggie’s pompous and bureaucratic boss, C.J., would almost certainly vote Conservative. His traditional views, emphasis on hierarchy, and conservative approach to business and management fit well with Conservative policies.

Joan Greengross: Reggie’s secretary, Joan, might lean towards Labour. Her working-class background and straightforward demeanor align with Labour’s focus on workers’ rights and social equality.

Tony Webster: Tony, the overly optimistic and somewhat naive colleague, might support the Liberal Democrats. His idealistic nature and desire for progress fit well with their centrist and forward-thinking platform.

David Harris-Jones: The nervous and sycophantic colleague, David, would likely vote Conservative, mirroring C.J.’s preferences. His desire to fit in and avoid conflict would lead him to follow the more traditional and established path.

Doc Morrisey: The eccentric company doctor, Doc Morrisey, could be a wildcard. Given his unconventional methods and quirky personality, he might support the Green Party for their progressive and unconventional approach to politics and healthcare.

Tom and Linda Patterson: Reggie’s daughter and her husband, with their conventional suburban lifestyle, might lean towards the Conservative Party. Their focus on family and stability aligns with Conservative values.

Right. Over to you, CoPilot. Great. Super.

In the 2024 UK General Election, the characters from The Fall and Rise of Reginald Perrin would likely vote based on their individual personalities and fictional backgrounds. Let’s imagine how some of the main characters might lean:

Reginald “Reggie” Perrin: Reggie, the middle-aged middle manager, might be disillusioned with the pointlessness of his job at Sunshine Desserts. He could lean toward the Reform UK party, which advocates for change and challenges the status quo. However, given his existential crisis, he might also consider voting for a more radical party.

CJ: Reggie’s boorish boss CJ might align with the Conservative Party, emphasizing stability and traditional values. His catchphrase (“I didn’t get where I am today…”) suggests a certain self-interest.

Tony and David: Reggie’s yes-men colleagues Tony (“Great!”) and David (“Super!”) might follow CJ’s lead and vote for the Conservatives as well.

Elizabeth: Reggie’s lovely but colourless wife Elizabeth might lean toward the Liberal Democrats, who often advocate for civil liberties and individual rights.

Linda: Reggie’s annoyingly bouncy daughter Linda could be socially conscious. She might consider voting for the Green Party, which emphasizes environmental issues and social justice.

Joan: Reggie’s weakly smouldering secretary Joan might be pragmatic. She could vote for the party that promises stability and economic growth.

Okay, time to summarise what we’ve seen today:

And, adding these votes to our ongoing table, here how the parties stand after results from six constituencies:

A surprising lurch to the right so far, then – especially as far as CoPilot seems to think – with even Reform outperforming Labour. That could be down to inherent biases within two AI packages, or it could be down to our notional electorate mainly being easily-lampooned subclasses of various societies that don’t really exist any more. Only one way to find out for sure – I’ll keep shovelling data into it.

In short: more of this nonsense very soon.