We made it! What better preparation for the big day could there be than the culmination of yet another series of daily December posts by me that prove to be really unpopular but which I bloody-mindedly see through right to the bitter end in the face of almost total indifference. Have a mince pie.

So, to round things off, here’s the episode of Maid Marian and Her Merry Men that aired on Christmas Eve 1989: “The Whitish Knight”. The final episode of the first series for the Children’s BBC series par excellence.

Merry Christmas, everyone!

Nearly at the finish line. Here’s a 23rd December (and also the final) episode of The Last Resort. Jonathan Ross and guests Peter Cook, The Del Rubio Triplets, Nick Lowe, Paul Merton and Dr Martin Scrote. With original ads, thanks to @NeilSmiles

Nearly done with this, you’ll be pleased to know. Back to 1990 today, and The Les Dennis Christmas Laughter Show.

The third and final Christmas special on the Beeb for likeable Les, and while it’s tempting to assume “broadcast on the 22nd? Ooh, his star is falling”, there was a hell of a lot more competition for The Big Day at the time, plus his two earlier Christmas specials went out on the 27th (1988) and 23rd (1989).

No big guests listed in the RT billing, but there is a go at an Alexei Sayle’s Stuffesque concept billing, which is nice. Actual guests in the episode (aside from regular co-star Lisa “Inputted Your Data” Maxwell) included Brian Glover, so that’s something.

Plus, there’s a fake BBC1 ident in there, which makes it Alright In My Book.

On the other hand:

(Not sure if GIFs will play if you’re reading this via email. If this isn’t moving (a) you’re probably lucky, and (b) you can see the full horror on the blog.)

Quite the day. Firstly, over to BBC1 at 7pm for a special episode of the Beeb’s Shepherd’s Bush mainstay with Wogan: Terry in Pantoland. Hosted by, of course, Prince Terry.

This isn’t just a tacked on premise, either. I mean, just look at him up there. Preceding that grand entrance was a full on song-and-dance number, his introductory remarks are delivered in (of course) rhyming couplets, and his first guests are ‘ugly sisters’ Biggins, Hudd and Cribbins.

That’s followed by panto perennial Babs Windsor, and some comedy business between Little, Large and Wogan.

That’s followed by a musical guest Dana, and lamentably (because: 1980s) J** D*******, following by a guest billed as “a rather surprising Cinderella”, who I’m not going to reveal here (though in case you’re wondering, it’s not Kenny Everett).

Then at 9pm there’s one of BBC2’s big Christmas highlights: Alas Sage and Onion. For the uninitiated, that’s a festive retitle of peak-era Alas Smith & Jones. Guests Lindsay Duncan, Clive Mantle, Tony Slattery and Geoff McGivern come along for the sleigh ride, plus there’s a supergroup of writing talent behind it, including Clive Anderson, Hunter & Docherty, Robin Driscoll, Jamie Rix and Nick Wilson.

However, all the effort put into making Mel & Griff’s Christmas special was overshadowed by breaking news going into the episode. A breaking news story that caught news departments completely unaware, meaning the breaking news was first delivered to the nation via in-vision Ceefax: a Pan-Am jet containing 258 people crashed into Scottish village Lockerbie. As news operations between BBC and ITN clamoured to prepare live reports, it seemed there wasn’t sufficient time to pull the episode of Smith & Jones, meaning it went out in full.

A lot more information about the programme itself over on the excellent VHiSTORY site.

Yes. It can only be Perry Como’s French-Canadian Christmas Special (BBC1). Purely on the basis of that title. I mean, come on. It sounds like a joke from The Simpsons.

And for anyone without a sense of what television was like on the other side of the Atlantic at the time, this could easily be a very subtle, very clever parody of schmaltzy network TV of the era. Right from a brief introduction by – of course – star of Fantasy Island Ricardo Montalban, who appears to explain that instead of the regularly scheduled episode from the mysterious Mr Roarke and company, we’re instead getting a very special and very festive Como-tastic treat (this at least for viewers of the original ABC broadcast in 1981 – that year it also aired on BBC1, but on Boxing Day, outside the Official Rulebook of Advent Calendars – this repeat broadcast is from a couple of years later). Then it’s onto shots of trees, horse-drawn carts, and the man himself leading a group of children to a magically French-Canadian festive treat, along with a variety of top Canadian performers of the time, plus the “alumni of the Montreal Canadiens hockey team”.

All brought to you by Canon. Because nothing says Christmas quite like photocopiers.

BONUS EXTRA VIDEO:

Couldn’t find any background info on this one, but it’s worth sharing anyway (not least as it’s a piece of archive telly that isn’t going to be cropping up anywhere else)

From 20 December 1976: An episode of lightly hauntological* kids programme A Handful of Songs (Granada).

(*Might just be me, but the whole aesthetic perfectly fits the Quentin Smirhes vibe. I keep expecting the QTV clock to appear.)

(Yes, a day late. Like everyone else in the UK, I was full of cold yesterday. I’ll put the one for the 20th out later on.)

Time for Eureka (BBC2), a reliably relatable teatime programme looking at everyday inventions, presented by Sarah Greene and Paul McDowell, aided by Madeline Smith, Sylvester McCoy and the always-welcome Wilf Lunn. Comes with a ‘Produced and Directed by Clive Doig’ guarantee, so you know it’s worth the trouble.

A clear precursor of Horrible Histories. Arguably.

The episode on YouTube sadly isn’t that correct Episode Six, but worth seeing nonetheless.

A rare pre-watershed airing for a repeat episode of Alexei Sayle’s Stuff (BBC2).

Well, it had just won an International Emmy. That sparked a repeat showing of the show’s first episode (going by the cast list on Genome), plus a special episode description in the Radio Times:

Dear Radio Times,

Hip hip hoorah! International recognition for the corpulent illegitimate! How I cheered when this year’s comedy Emmy was awarded to Alexei Sayle!’

Alexei Sayle,
End of Bloomsbury Dole Queue,
Wigan.

Alexei Sayle replies:

Who gives a damn what I think?

Renwick and Marshall had form for including such inaccurate programme descriptions, following in the grand tradition of Spike Milligan’s Q, and continued to nearly-this-very-day by Shaun Micallef’s Mad as Hell.

Here are a few other examples from Stuff, as compiled by a previous life of this blog:

Co-written with unstoppable sketch comedy pensmiths David Renwick and Andrew Marshall, Sayle’s Stuff was unfairly maligned in some quarters when first hitting our screens, variously maligned as being too rude or too reliant on channelling Flying Circus, but happily it was a winningly inventive series packed with barbed satire, sumptuous surreality and an always welcome willingness to play with the conventions of television. Jokes delivered via the medium of Ceefax, messing around with the BBC Two ident and even faking out the viewers by placing fake programme trailers after the end of an episode.

That invention even went as far as the Radio Times listings, which took the form of outraged letters to the RT itself. Here are a few examples:

Leibnitz – Man or Biscuit?
Dear Radio Times,
What a delight Alexei Sayle ‘s Stuff was this week! My family and I were enraptured by the two young puffins and their hilarious attempts to build a nest using old newspapers. Please, please repeat this soon as it was such a tonic for the eyes in these days of fat b*****ds and shaved heads whining on about Mrs Thatcher.
(Mrs) Josie Pencil
Stratford-under-Lyne
ALEXEI SAYLE replies: Who gives a damn what you think! 
– 10 November 1988 21.00

How to Point at Chickens

Dear Radio Times,
I switched on my TV set at 9.00pm on Thursday expecting to see another edition of Alexei Sayle ‘s Stuff as advertised. What a disappointment! Due to the whim of those mandarins in programme planning, the series was not cancelled to make way for last-minute coverage of the Embassy Pro-Am Snooker final from the Crucible Theatre, Sheffield.
Spare a thought for the poor sporting viewer, please!
(Mrs) Daisy Hatch
Doncaster
ALEXEI SAYLE replies: Who gives a damn what you think!
– 17 November 1988 21.00

2: From Avogadro to Ava Gardner
Dear Radio Times,
Why oh why do TV producers insist on subjecting us to the inane cackle of audience laughter, completely drowning programmes with an endless cacophony of mindless braying at the slightest provocation?
Fortunately this is not the case on Alexei Sayle ‘s Stuff where, joy of joys, the studio audience always remains in stunning silence throughout! More of this please!
(Mrs) Sandra Robespierre ,
Chislehurst ALEXEI SAYLE replies: Who gives a damn what you think!
Featuring Alexei Sayle with Leslie Crowther 
– 20 October 1988 21.00

2: Westward H2O
Dear Radio Times,
Being right-wing crypto fascists with fixed ideas and loud screeching voices, my husband Pip and I sat down to watch this week’s
Alexei Sayle ‘s Stuff on BBC1 with Great Trepidation (our 14-year-old labrador). Imagine our delight when we realised that Mr Sayle had lost several stones and spent the entire show sitting behind a news desk reading hilarious government ‘plans’ for education and health services – keeping us in stitches for the entire half-hour. More of this please!
Mrs Wilhemina ReesMogg ,
Dungeness, Kent
ALEXEI SAYLE replies: Who gives a damn what you think! 
– 26 October 1989 21.00

4: Six Body Builders of the Italian Renaissance

Dear Radio Times,
When, oh when, will the BBC stop concocting these appalling fake Radio Times letters from obviously bogus people called ‘Mrs Noreen Gripper -Rod’ and the like to publicise Alexei Sayle ‘s Stuff. Even I am completely dummy and do not exist in any rational sense – so stop printing this at once!
Dame Judi Dench , The Bafta Awards,
Attenboro’tfgh-on-Hankies, Surrey.
Alexei Sayle replies: Who gives a damn what you think?
– 9 November 1989 21.00

Night Network (LWT)

Here’s a half-hour section featuring tight-trousered troubadour Iggy Pop.

2.00 to 4.00am Night Network
PAUL THOMPSON
ROWLAND RIVRON
LEEE JOHN
DEREK JAMESON

Join Paul Thompson for Video View. Rowland Rivron hosts another edition of The Bunker Show with Derek Jameson listing what he couldn’t live without in his nuclear fallout shelter. Competition entries to LWT, PO Box 90, London SE1 9PR.

Arena Animal Night (BBC2).

An early example of a BBC2 theme night (pre-dating A Night From TV Hell by three whole years), the long-running documentary strand teaming up with Spitting Image Productions to introduce an evening of films of various animals, closing off with a debate programme on animal rights. The framing device: Noah’s Ark, except the beardy sailboat proprietor isn’t as nice to the animals as legend would have it.

The full evening isn’t online, but the first couple of minutes are on the Ravensbourne BBC Motion Graphics Archive, and if that’s anything to go by, it’s a hell of a lot of effort they’ve gone into for some linking material.

It being on Ravensbourne’s BBC Motion Graphics Archive – a project used to highlight processes used in the formulation of TV title sequences through the decades – there’s also some background information on how it was put together by designer Pete Wane. And if you’ve not been through that site before, go take a look. It’s absolutely marvellous resource.

Arena Animal Night: Opening Title Sequence