Yes, that’s not a typo. Or at least, not an accidental one.

Lots of newspapers, magazines and websites are currently parading their list of The 50 Best TV Shows of 2024 (spoiler: you haven’t heard of at least 25 of them, and won’t have watched at least 40 of them). But sod the quality, we’re going to focus on quantity. The programmes you won’t need to subscribe to sixteen different streaming services to be aware of. The shows where, providing you own a television and a face, the two will have collided at least once during 2024.

What if some idiot had pulled an entire year of TV listings for main channels? And then generated a list to see which programmes have been pumped out into the digital jungle most frequently? And made a reverse-order list of the fifty most oft-spotted shows? What then, eh?

Hi, I’m that idiot.

So, here we go. If nothing else, I can promise you:

• It’ll be an end of year list of TV programmes where you’ve probably heard of them all.
• We’ll learn which are the most uninspired of all the main UK TV channels.
• Confirmation that, if broadcast TV is dying, the cause of death is definitely going to be drowning.

Quick set of ground rules: I’m not including news, weather, teleshopping, Unwind with ITV, overnight gambling filler or pseudo-programmes like FYI Daily that purely exist to exploit ad-minutes-per-hour loopholes. I’m only looking at the main entertainment channels available on Freeview (BBC One, BBC Two, BBC Three, BBC Four, ITV1, ITV2, ITV3, ITV4, C4, E4, More4 and Five). There may very well be some omissions that have slipped through my datanet, but not too many.

Okay. On with the show(s).

–

50. Flog It!, 302 times
    BBC2
    0.825 episodes per day

Flog It! To Death, more like.

48. A New Life in the Sun, 304 times
    C4 x 114, More4 x 190
    0.831 episodes per day

A companion to a series we’ll definitely be seeing later in the list.

48. Looney Tunes Cartoons, 304 times
    ITV2
    0.831 episodes per day

Not the classic old Warner Bros cartoons of yore (many of which went out under the culturally memory-holed Merrie Melodies banner), but the HBO-funded and HBO-ignored modern versions. Which, as far as I’ve seen, are very good. But not good enough to have me putting the telly on at 6:50am each morning.

47. Escape to the Country, 313 times
    BBC1 x 255, BBC2 x 58
    0.855 episodes per day

The comforting feeling of following the journey of people who bought houses in London for 3/6 in the sixties, and as a result can now afford to buy Somerset.

46. Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps, 320 times
    BBC2 x 1, BBC3 x 319
    0.874 episodes per day

Yep, with the back-on-actual-telly Three coming with the stated mission of serving modern-day 16 to 34-year-olds, the most common sight on the channel is a programme that started 23 years ago. So, it probably satisfies any remit the channel has for historical content. Airing as often as eight times per night. Eight times!

45. Food Unwrapped, 325 times
    C4 x 32, More4 x 293
    0.888 episodes per day

One can’t help but feel this food-based consumer series should’ve kept the title of the Dutch original. Keuringsdienst van Waarde practically rolls off the tongue.

44. Homes Under the Hammer, 333 times
    BBC1 x 271, BBC2 x 62
    0.91 episodes per day

As mentioned previously, the practice of property developers buying up repossessed homes to remodel and resell for a fast buck is a pretty distasteful idea for a TV series. But also, a very popular one.

43. Car S.O.S, 362 times
    C4 x 87, More4 x 275
    0.989 episodes per day

Rebroadcast episodes of the Nat Geo series are proving suitable filler fodder for tea-time More, with episodes also featuring on lunchtime Channel Four. Most interesting to me is that one of the presenters is Fuzz Townshend from Pop Will Eat Itself, which must surely have led to a #CarPoppies hashtag on the socials. “Not Now James May, We’re Busy” etc.

42. The Adventures of Paddington, 363 times
    C5
    0.992 episodes per day

Also known as: The Animated Adventures of Modern Britain’s Angel of Death.

40. Kojak, 364 times
    ITV4
    0.995 episodes per day

Nominative determinism klaxons abound, as more than 50 years since his most famous character debuted, Telly Savalas is still never off the damn thing.

40. The King of Queens, 364 times
    C4
    0.995 episodes per day

The mid-table US network sitcom makes the list, albeit mainly as support act to the Simpsons-Frasier-3rd Rock triumvirate of breakfast A-listers on the fourth channel.

39. Top of the Pops, 377 times
    BBC2 x 2, BBC4 x 375
    1.03 episodes per day

Giving a BlueSky-toting Gen X a reason to watch live broadcast television each Friday night? Even if it’s thirty-year old repeats, the opportunity to join the pile-in on Robson, Jerome and Nicky Campbell is just tantalising enough to keep the licence fee payments coming from over-forties.

38. First Dates, 381 times
    C4 x 55, E4 x 326
    1.041 episodes per day

Letting the viewer act as unseen third wheel in this long-running dating series is a quirk that keeps drawing an audience. It even enjoyed a Reeves and Mortimer spoof, albeit in the (admit it) below par BBC Four Vic and Bob’s Big Night Out.

37. The Royal, 389 times
    ITV3
    1.063 episodes per day

The Jive Bunny version of Casualty – it’s not just there to provide fodder for TV Burp.

36. Friends, 404 times
    C5
    1.104 episodes per day

They’ll be there for you, until a time where the show suddenly becomes unprofitable. Which isn’t happening any time soon.

35. Bargain Hunt, 405 times
    BBC1 x 307, BBC2 x 98
    1.107 episodes per day

Another entry from BBC One’s stable of daytime perennials. Bring back Open Air, you cowards!

34. Pip & Posy, 425 times
    C5
    1.161 episodes per day

This list is going to contain more Milkshake than a vessel hurled at Nigel Farage, isn’t it? This adaptation of Axel Scheffler’s book series proving to be an integral part of Five’s pre-school strand on all seven days of the week.

33. Bob’s Burgers, 448 times
    ITV2
    1.224 episodes per day

Still the strongest string in Fox’s Sunday evening animated comedy line-up over there, even if 2024 saw it removed from ITV2’s primetime line-up and relegated to the midnight hour. Still, it was lovely to see The Bob Burgers Movie getting a teatime airing over the summer.

32. Fireman Sam, 477 times
    C5
    1.303 episodes per day

Sam Tân for viewers west of Offa’s Dyke, of course. It’s incredible that this has been running in various guises since 1987, generating over 300 episodes along the way. Less credible that Norman Price is still getting away with his nonsense. Bet he wouldn’t be so cocky if the Sam/Fire Engine Transformer that you can find in branches of Home Bargains were to feature in the programme.

31. Find It, Fix It, Flog It, 479 times
    C4 x 189, More4 x 290
    1.309 episodes per day

Commission it, film it, repeat it, more like. It’s The Repair Shop but with a profit and loss margin.

30. Countdown, 496 times
    C4
    1.355 episodes per day

Astonishing that this is still going strong, and still providing surprises along the way. Mainly when you look at the list of former presenters. Anne Robinson? Really? Wow. Forgot that.

29. Mr Bean, 539 times
    ITV2 x 471, ITV4 x 68
    1.473 episodes per day

The total for ITV2 broadcasts of the animated spin-off bolstered by ITV4 repeats of Live Action Bean, granted. But I’m not doing the spreadsheet again.

28. The Goldbergs, 548 times
    E4
    1.497 episodes per day

Fulfilling E4’s public service remit of showing a billion episodes of an American sitcom most people have never heard of, the antics of the titular 1980s Philadelphia family have happily filled many a mid-afternoon hour throughout the year.

27. Agatha Christie’s Poirot, 549 times
    ITV3
    1.5 episodes per day

Twirly-‘tached crime-confounding capers are pretty much ITV3’s comfort blanket, so it’s little surprise to see a surfeit of Suchet here.

26. Cheers, 555 times
    C4
    1.516 episodes per day

Normally, when a channel gives up on something big, it’ll spend about a decade and untold millions trying to find something else to fill the gap. In the case of Four’s quest to find a popular successor to The Big Breakfast, the stopgap solution of flinging on American Sitcom Repeats until something better than RI:SE came along proved to be the canniest move the station would make this century.

25. Minder, 592 times
    ITV4
    1.617 episodes per day

“Why don’t you just… Not go home? She’d be over the moon.”
“That is very wounding, Terrence. Wounding and ungrateful.”

24. Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records, 615 times
    ITV2
    1.68 episodes per day

Ah, the 1980s scheduling staple of flinging on World Records footage to fill a half-hour or two is still going strong, though it really needs David Frost in NTSC for the full effect. And nobody has noticed that it’s putting a programme title that’s plugging alcohol in a kids’ slot, just after Scooby-Doo. Oh, you might disagree, but nobody would pick the suffix ‘Publishing’ if Guinness came up in a word association test.

23. Dress to Impress, 656 times
    ITV2
    1.792 episodes per day

A teatime staple for people who – somehow – avoid the whole teatime Pointless versus The Chase quandary. Basically people who heard about the Blur vs Oasis battle of the charts, and bought Everybody by Clock instead.

22. Teen Titans Go!, 671 times
    ITV2
    1.833 episodes per day

As far as superheroes go, here’s the Justice League’s Under-21 side, with ITV2 broadcasting every minute of their Bristol Street Motors Trophy group stage matches.

21. Hollyoaks, 690 times
    E4
    1.885 episodes per day

This is never going to end and when E4 finally get sick of it, it’ll just reappear on 4-Tel or something.

20. Gogglebox, 708 times
    C4 x 173, E4 x 535
    1.934 episodes per day

Gogglebox is nothing more than a less good remake of ParamountText’s Mailbox pages. Change my mind. (I really do stand by my original dismissal that it’s nothing more than a crowdsourced TV Burp.)

19. Everybody Loves Raymond, 733 times
    C4
    2.003 episodes per day

Channel Four certainly love Raymond, especially in a weekday early morning slot. It would’ve cost them a fortune to repurchase Lock-keeper Cottages for an ill-advised BB reboot, in fairness. Though one can’t help suspect that Chris Evans would now be a lot more willing to get involved.

18. American Dad!, 747 times
    ITV2
    2.041 episodes per day

One of the best jokes in American Dad! was Francine’s “No wonder the doctors in Scrubs don’t find time to be funny”. Mind you, that was a long time ago – don’t think it could afford to be that cocky nowadays. BONUS FACT: October 2025 will mark the 20th anniversary of American Dad debuting on BBC Two.

17. Young Sheldon, 749 times
    E4
    2.046 episodes per day

I don’t even like Old Sheldon tbh.

16. Paw Patrol, 831 times
    C5
    2.27 episodes per day

The cartoon canines show little sign of stopping. Rubble has even landed his own spin-off series, which makes him the Frasier of Adventure Bay.

15. Heartbeat, 927 times
    ITV3
    2.533 episodes per day

“Nick Berry had talent in a previous life
Nick Berry had talent in a previous life
Nick Berry had talent in a previous life
Nick Berry had it all” – Mclusky, Random Celebrity Insult Generator.

A bit harsh, lads. He was in The Box of Delights on BBC Four just the other day. They don’t cast just anyone as ‘Pirate Rat’.

14. A Place in the Sun, 930 times
    C4 x 353, More4 x 577
    2.541 episodes per day

[Adjusts Rory Bremner glasses while speaking in a Trevor MacDonald voice] Well, with old Keir Starmers stopping winter fuel payments, seeing coverage of people buying second homes in Gran Canaria will be the cheapest way pensioners can try to at least feel warm. [Pause for applause.]

13. The Simpsons, 962 times
    C4
    2.628 episodes per day

A cultural totem that completely transformed animated comedy it might be, but this week’s news that Four are going to shunt The Simpsons from a teatime slot on their main channel over to E4 means that Springfield now simply has to become a twin town of Chester.

12. Family Guy, 994 times
    ITV2
    2.716 episodes per day

Meanwhile, here’s the show that will forever be in the Simpsons’ shadow. Not as popular as it used to be, I’ll wager, but it seems certain that ITV would fly into a panic if someone else lost the rights. BBC Three would make a desperate bid for this if the master tapes of Two Pints of Lager ever snapped.

11. Classic Coronation Street, 998 times
    ITV3
    2.727 episodes per day

Followed by…

10. Classic Emmerdale, 1000 times
    ITV3
    2.732 episodes per day

A victory lap for ITV’s twin kings of soap. Once they run out, I’m hoping they’ll spin up Albion Market.

9. 24 Hours in A&E, 1021 times
   C4 x 62, More4 x 959
   2.79 episodes per day

Well, your nan might be been left there on a stretcher for 17 hours with her shattered hip, but at least More4 had something to show in a Saturday night double-bill all year. So, you know.

8. Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA, 1025 times
   C4 x 228, E4 x 797
   2.801 episodes per day

It’s really hard to get tired of seeing other people get a bollocking at work, isn’t it? Though, unlike the superior British original version, this has never had a man walking around shouting “BOLLOCKS TO BISTO” through a loudhailer at passers-by.

7. Brooklyn Nine-Nine, 1148 times
   E4
   3.137 episodes per day

The endlessly-quotable antics of New York’s fun blue line. A pity the endless cancellations and okay-one-more-seasons left the final episodes wobbling with disinterest towards the finish line, but remember it for all those lofty heights. “All of Planet Earth. With the British narrator.”

6. Frasier, 1485 times
   C4
   4.057 episodes per day

Here he is! If you ever want to annoy a fan of Frasier, simply point out that most episodes seem to involve Dr Crane getting handcuffed to a stripper ten minutes before an Important Dinner Party. Because, while that’s not true, that it tells us about Frasier is (etc).

5. Modern Family, 1786 times
   E4
   4.88 episodes per day

“The viewers look unhappy.” “Shovel on more episodes of Modern Family.” Showered with praise by the press, there must be something wrong with my telly, which only seems to show episodes where it’s far too busy being pleased with itself to, y’know, be good.

4. Peppa Pig, 2194 times
   C5
   5.995 episodes per day

Lovely as it is, imagine being in the part of the multiverse where Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom is the Astley Baker Davies production that took global TV by storm. Nothing against Peppa per se, but Ben and Holly is that bit better. Peppa probably couldn’t get away with having an (unseen) character called Sharon the Totally Insane, for one thing.

3. Come Dine with Me, 2199 times
   C4 x 384, E4 x 35, More4 x 1780
   6.008 episodes per day

Plus…

2. Four in a Bed, 2337 times
   C4 x 532, More4 x 1805
   6.385 episodes per day

While there were lots (and lots) of bad things about having an overstuffed cartoon scarecrow as Prime Minister for a few years, one that stands out was him appointing Nadine Dorries as Minister of Culture, who was determined to attack Channel Four following their wheeze of putting an ice sculpture in one of the chairs for an election debate. The good people of social media took at arms (well, keyboards) to express their disgust at Dorries wanting to force unpopular changes to the fourth channel, until she scampered back off to her, well, obviously not constituency. And yet… SO much of it is just these two programmes on a seemingly endless loop. S4C makes much more of an effort, and that’s got a budget of 17p and some buttons. What would Murun Buchstansangur say?

1. The Big Bang Theory, 3216 times
   E4
   8.787 episodes per day

Remember when E4 was going to be Britain’s answer to HBO? That was the initial plan before it launched, with subscriptions driving previously unimaginable levels of creativity. Where are we at with it in 2024? On 257 calendar days of 2024, E4 showed at least TEN episodes of The Big Bang Theory. The glory days of Skins and Misfits are basically in a whole other era, aren’t they?

–

And there we go. Between the fifty, that makes for a total of 39,340 individual TV broadcasts, all of which would require an issue of the Radio Times stretching from Carlisle to Cornwall (okay, no it wouldn’t).

But all these do tell us a lot about which are the least original TV channels currently kicking about your digibox. Indeed, there’s one channel that one might have expected to feature, but which was wholly absent from the list. Here’s the full breakdown by channel, ranked by ‘number of episodes in that top fifty’:

E4 – 9,830 broadcasts in the list
C4 – 6,804
More4 – 6,169
ITV2 – 4,906
C5 – 4,694
ITV3 – 3,863
ITV4 – 1,024
BBC1 – 833
BBC2 – 523
BBC4 – 375
BBC3 – 319
ITV1 – 0

That’s right, not a single ITV1 programme made the cut. For the record, the most-spotted programmes that even appeared on that channel were: Celebrity Catchphase (51st place, shown 298 times, 26 on ITV1, 272 on ITV2), Family Fortunes (56th place, shown 272 times, 24 on ITV1, 250 on ITV2) and Midsomer Murders (57th place, shown 272 times, 11 on ITV1, 261 on ITV3). The highest ranking for an ITV1-exclusive show was joint-67th place for This Morning and Lorraine (both shown 260 times). The Chase only made number 78 on the list (shown 249 times). Fair dues.

So, that’s it for the year. Hopefully, I shall be back on the blog soon. Hopefully with some exciting news. Ooh, the excitement.