Given the slightly strange results it’s generated so far, I’ve retitled the series to factor in whether AI will come out of this with any credibility or not. It can’t even get a grip on what it would look like if the October 1974 BBC General Election coverage had been anchored by a cartoon moose.

But anyway, onto part four of our gallop through the sitcom polls, and a trio of Channel 4 sitcom characters wander into our theoretical (and AI-assisted) polling booth. Will AI start to redeem itself?

Nathan Barley

Charlie Brooker and Chris Morris’ satire of self-obsessed nuMeeja nodes might not be up there with the classic sitcoms from Four, but it has a variety of characters that don’t fit in with standard sitcom tropes. Plus Benedict Cumberbatch was in it (for about twenty seconds). So, how were the Hoxton hacks likely to vote? Over to ChatGPT at the count:

Nathan Barley: The titular character, Nathan is a vapid and self-obsessed media wannabe. He might vote for the Conservative Party if he sees it as beneficial for his business interests and social status. Alternatively, he could support a trendy, image-focused party like the Liberal Democrats, if they appeal to his sense of being progressive and cool.

Dan Ashcroft: The disillusioned journalist who sees through the superficiality around him, Dan would likely support the Labour Party. His disdain for the vacuous culture represented by characters like Nathan aligns with Labour’s focus on social justice, equality, and challenging the status quo.

Claire Ashcroft: Dan’s sister, who is an earnest documentary filmmaker, would probably vote for the Green Party. Her commitment to meaningful, socially-conscious work aligns with the Greens’ emphasis on environmental issues, social justice, and progressive policies.

Pingu: The tech-savvy but somewhat clueless friend of Nathan, Pingu might support the Liberal Democrats. His tech-centric lifestyle and desire to appear progressive fit with the Lib Dems’ focus on innovation and moderate social policies.

Jonatton Yeah?: The pretentious editor of the fictional magazine “Sugar Ape,” Jonatton might support the Conservatives, valuing their pro-business stance and focus on individual success. Alternatively, he might vote for whichever party he believes aligns with the latest trends and keeps him in the social limelight, potentially the Liberal Democrats.

Toby: Another character who thrives on the superficial hipster culture, Toby would likely follow a similar pattern to Nathan Barley. He might vote Conservative if he sees personal gain or lean towards the Liberal Democrats for their trendy, progressive image.

Personally, I reckon Barley would vote for a new unheard-of single-topic party set up by one of his school chums that ultimately gathers a total of 27 votes, but that’s probably not part of the training data. Anyway, what did CoPilot say?

Nathan Barley: As the epitome of the self-absorbed, tech-obsessed hipster, Nathan would likely gravitate toward a party that promises to revolutionize the digital landscape. His vote might go to the Greens, who advocate for environmental sustainability and progressive tech policies.

Dan Ashcroft: The disillusioned journalist and creator of the infamous “Rise of the Idiots” article would probably lean toward Labour. Dan’s disdain for mainstream culture and corporate influence aligns with Labour’s historical focus on social justice and workers’ rights.

Jonatton Yeah?: The absurdly named editor-in-chief of Sugar Ape magazine would likely vote Conservative. His penchant for superficiality, elitism, and corporate interests mirrors the Tory party’s traditional values.

Toby: Nathan’s clueless flatmate Toby might not even bother voting. But if he did, it’d be a random choice based on whichever party had the most colourful campaign posters.

Pingu: Ben Whishaw’s character, Pingu, Nathan’s tech-savvy boy-slave, would likely support the Liberal Democrats. Their focus on civil liberties, individual freedoms, and tech innovation would resonate with him.

Ned Smanks and Rufus Onslatt: The gormless graphic designers at Sugar Ape would probably vote for the Monster Raving Loony Party or some other fringe group. Their lack of critical thinking and penchant for absurdity aligns with such choices.

Sasha: The receptionist at Sugar Ape, Sasha, might lean toward the SNP or Plaid Cymru, given her Welsh heritage. She’d prioritize regional interests and cultural identity.

No idea where that last one has come from, but curious that CoPilot includes Ned Smanks but excludes Chloe Ashcroft, one of the main three characters in the entire series. Tsk. Anyway, what’s next?

Phoenix Nights

Garlic bread? Etc. Briefly Britain’s most popular sitcom, currently unavailable on any streaming service but available in charity shops throughout the land. The first series is brilliant, while the second series… well, the Das Boot fruit machine is quite funny. Or was that series one? Anyway, how would they all vote? ChatGPT, over to you:

Brian Potter: The ambitious and scheming owner of the club, Brian would likely vote Conservative. His entrepreneurial spirit, focus on personal gain, and desire to succeed in business align with the Conservative Party’s pro-business policies.

Jerry “The Saint” St. Clair: The club’s loyal but often frustrated entertainment manager, Jerry might lean towards the Labour Party. His working-class background and dedication to the community fit well with Labour’s focus on social equality and support for public services.

Max Bygraves: One half of the club’s bouncer duo, Max might support the Conservative Party, valuing their stance on law and order. His job as a doorman and his no-nonsense attitude align with conservative values on security and stability.

Paddy O’Shea: The other half of the bouncer duo, Paddy, could lean towards Labour. His more laid-back personality and camaraderie with the club’s patrons suggest a preference for policies that support the working class and community cohesion.

Les Campbell: The club’s handyman and aspiring DJ, Les might vote for the Liberal Democrats. His practical skills and desire for progress and innovation in his DJ career align with the Lib Dems’ focus on personal freedoms and support for the creative industries.

Ray Von: The club’s resident DJ and jack-of-all-trades, Ray Von might support the Green Party. His quirky and inventive nature fits with the Greens’ emphasis on environmental sustainability and progressive social policies.

Young Kenny: The naive and well-meaning club employee, Young Kenny would likely support Labour. His working-class roots and straightforward outlook on life align with Labour’s focus on fairness and social justice.

Spencer: The club’s enthusiastic but inexperienced young worker, Spencer, might also lean towards Labour. His youthful idealism and aspiration for a better future align with Labour’s promises for social mobility and opportunities for young people.

Well, it’s doubtful that Max would really vote Tory given his occasional sad lament of “Thatcher’s Britain” is Road to Nowhere, but I can’t blame ChatGPT for not having watched that. Most people wish they hadn’t, either. Over to CoPilot.

Brian Potter: The club owner and larger-than-life personality. Brian might lean toward the Conservative Party. His entrepreneurial spirit and desire for success align with their values.

Jerry St. Clair: The flamboyant club compère. Jerry would likely vote for the Liberal Democrats. Their focus on civil liberties and individual rights resonates with his colourful personality.

Max and Paddy: The bouncers with hearts of gold. Max and Paddy might support Labour. Their working-class background and loyalty to their friends mirror Labour’s historical focus on social justice.

Ray Von: The dodgy DJ. Ray would probably vote for the Monster Raving Loony Party or some other fringe group. His eccentricity and lack of seriousness align with such choices.

Den Perry: The rival club owner. Den’s shady dealings and disregard for rules might lead him to vote for Reform UK. Their anti-establishment stance could appeal to him.

Kenny Senior: Brian’s father and a club regular. Kenny would likely vote for the Greens. His love for nature and concern for the environment align with their policies.

Holy Mary: The devout Catholic cleaner. Holy Mary might lean toward the Christian Party. Her faith and desire for moral values could guide her choice.

I’ve checked, and there really is a Christian Party in the UK, so credit to CoPilot for factoring that in. And having Den Perry going for The Nastiest Party seems appropriate. You can imagine him standing in the council elections for them.

Onto our last programme for today. Get your eyeballs into a Dutch angle, it’s…

Spaced

Jess and Simon’s influential sitcom (helped, of course, by Edgar Wright) counts as another ‘youth vote’ piece of polling, so what would the residents of 23 Meteor Street go for? ChatGPT to start:

Tim Bisley: The laid-back, comic book-loving slacker, Tim would likely support the Green Party. His creative, alternative lifestyle and interest in environmental issues fit well with the Greens’ progressive policies on sustainability and social justice.

Daisy Steiner: The aspiring writer and free spirit, Daisy might lean towards the Labour Party. Her artistic ambitions, concern for social issues, and working-class background align with Labour’s focus on equality and support for the creative industries.

Mike Watt: The military enthusiast and Tim’s best friend, Mike would probably vote Conservative. His respect for the military, interest in national security, and traditional values align with the Conservative Party’s stance on defense and order.

Marsha Klein: The boozy landlady with a complicated personal life, Marsha might support the Liberal Democrats. Her pragmatic approach to life, combined with a desire for personal freedom and a balanced approach to social issues, fits well with the Lib Dems’ centrist policies.

Brian Topp: The intense and introverted artist, Brian would likely support the Green Party. His commitment to his art and unconventional lifestyle align with the Greens’ emphasis on environmentalism, social justice, and support for the arts.

Twist Morgan: Daisy’s fashion-obsessed friend, Twist, might lean towards the Liberal Democrats. Her focus on trends, personal freedoms, and moderate approach to politics align with the Lib Dems’ appeal to young, urban professionals.

Tyres O’Flaherty: The energetic bike courier and party animal, Tyres might support the Green Party, valuing their emphasis on sustainability and progressive social policies, which resonate with his active lifestyle and countercultural attitude.

A lot of love for the Greens there. Will CoPilot suggest anything different?

Tim Bisley (played by Simon Pegg): Tim, the aspiring comic book artist, would likely lean toward the Labour Party. His creative spirit and desire for social justice align with their values.

Daisy Steiner (played by Jessica Stevenson): Daisy, the aspiring writer, might vote for the Green Party. Her idealism and concern for the environment resonate with their policies.

Marsha Klein (played by Julia Deakin): Marsha, the alcoholic landlady, would probably support the Conservative Party. Her love for wine and desire for stability align with their traditional values.

Brian Topp (played by Mark Heap): Brian, the angst-ridden artist, could vote for the Liberal Democrats. His artistic sensibilities and desire for change might lead him in that direction.

Mike Watt (played by Nick Frost): Mike, the military-obsessed friend, would likely back the Reform UK party. His fascination with order and protocol aligns with their anti-establishment stance.

Twist Morgan (played by Katy Carmichael): Twist, Brian’s love interest, might lean toward the Monster Raving Loony Party. Her quirky personality and unconventional choices fit their profile.

In short: ‘hmm-face emoji’. The Mike of the time of the series would never go Reform. The Mike of 20+ years later when he’s a bitter middle-aged army reject with two ex-wives, yes – but that’s not what we asked for. Mind you, if ever there’s a sitcom character who’d vote for the Bring Back National Service policy…

Ah well, here’s a summary of today’s voting.

And here’s what those votes do to the State of the Parties.

Blimey, eh? Either AI really doesn’t get a grip on the political undercurrent gurgling away beneath the pavements of Britain, or it’s looking a lot like Starmer’s about to go all Kinnock 1992.

What will the next update bring? Find out in a couple of days.