BrokenTV

Category: sitcoms

  • BrokenTV’s Sitcom Swingometer Spectacular FINAL DAY AND CONCLUSION

    BrokenTV’s Sitcom Swingometer Spectacular FINAL DAY AND CONCLUSION

    Well, the exit polls are in.

    By which I mean most people who’d looked at Part One hadn’t returned for subsequent parts, suggesting this idea didn’t really have the legs to run for the entire election cycle.

    Which is fair enough, one thing I’ve learned from writing up several days of AI-generated predictions of How Sitcoms Characters Would Vote in The 2024 General Election is… what pretty much everyone already knew: AI ain’t that clever. It basically seems to explore keywords for a sitcom’s characters, then plump for the Conservatives if a synonym for ‘traditional’ appears, or choose one from Labour, Lib Dem or Green out of a hat for everyone else.

    That said, I’ve got a spreadsheet, and I’m damn well going to wring a bit more data out of it. So, let’s round things off with a load more sitcoms, and see where that gets us. Meaty bits only, listing just the ‘scores’ for each sitcom, and only anything particularly interesting (or daft) from the write ups. Oh, and only using one AI engine (ChatGPT) because life is too short to do it all twice. All followed by a great big scoreboard at the end.

    Ready? Let’s Dimbleby this mother.

    Okay, to keep everything in one place, we’ll revisit the ones that have already been done. If only because it’ll put the new additions into some kind of nonsense context. I mean, Winnie from Early Doors would NEVER vote Conservative. Jean, yes. Phil and Nige, definitely. Nominally in favour of law and order but relentlessly on the take? Nailed on. As for those Toast of London predictions – well, Danny Bear would vote along with Clem Fandango, so that’s wrong. Also: the AI thought Ed Howzer-Black was Toast’s agent. What a digital idiot.

    A couple more BBC sitcom stalwarts added to the electorate in Men Behaving Badly and The Brittas Empire. Would Gary be a bit more Lib Dem? Possibly. And I suspect Gordon Brittas would, too. Colin voting Green is on the money, mind. In other news, good to see that the AI had surprisingly strong opinions on the characters from Don’t Hug Me I’m Scared.

    A good mix from One Foot in the Grave, there. Not sure what the tremendously pro-Labour Richard Wilson would make of the AI pinning Victor Meldrew as a Tory, and as it’s strictly the 2024 election we’re looking at here, can’t help but think Patrick would be put off by Ed Davey’s antics over the last week (though Pippa would see little reason to get so het up about it). In less welcome news for the Liberal Democrats, the AI has League of Gentlemen‘s Herr Lipp pinning an orange rosette to his lapel.

    If ever evidence were needed that all AI in bunk, considering for a second that Vince from 15 Storeys High would vote Green is exhibit A. ChatGPT’s write-up claims “he might lean towards the Green Party due to their focus on social justice, environmental issues, and community wellbeing”, which suggests they can only possibly be thinking of his namesake from Erasure.

    For further proof that AI clearly hasn’t watched as many episodes of George & Mildred as it should have, George referred to the Conservative Party as “the one for posh twits” in one episode (unlike the aspirational Mildred, of course). Even more dozily, the AI has Tristram down as “the Ropers’ pretentious and flamboyant neighbour”. He’s about six years old, you monsters!

    Anyway, fun to see that it came up with suggestions for most of the main characters in Hey Duggee. Yes, it counts. If nothing else, it’s funnier than most sitcoms of the last decade. As for those N/A’s for Duggee and Roly – “He might not have political preferences, focusing instead on nurturing the growth and development of the young squirrels” for the former, “[he] might not have strong political leanings, focusing instead on having fun and enjoying life’s adventures” for the latter.

    There’s even an Election Badge episode of Hey Duggee, so I couldn’t not include it. Also: it’s just a superb series.

    Onto the mainly new entries in the list. I reckon Tim from Spaced would check to see if the Pirate Party have a candidate on the ballot before marking his cross. A big showing for Labour in Desmonds (altogether now: “That’s Channel 4 for you”), and I’ve no argument with the predictions for Dear John.

    As for those N/A’s up above: Howard from Ever Decreasing Circles is considered to be “focusing more on his hobbies and avoiding conflict”, Tom Chance (in a Million) would be “focusing more on his unusual adventures and avoiding conflict” (hmm, a pattern developing here. Even though Tom Chance seemed perfectly fine with conflict if you ask me). As for Bread‘s Billy Boswell, he “might not be old enough to vote in the 2024 General Election”. Yet Tag, Betty, Happy and Norrie from Hey Duggee are? Plus the puppets from Don’t Hug Me I’m Scared? More likely that Billy Boswell didn’t happen to have any photo ID, eh voter suppression fans?

    Okay, last leg now. A predictable set of results from Torquay’s most notorious hotel, similarly so for the staff and customers are Arkwright’s General Store. Those Last of the Summer Wine figures probably fit in with Yorkshire being a bit of a hotbed for Northern Conservatives (the abstaining Compo would be “focusing more on enjoying life’s simple pleasures and avoiding authority”). I can’t argue with how the AI claims Edward Catflap and Ralph Filthy would vote, while Richie Rich would be “focusing more on his own narcissistic pursuits and desire for fame and fortune”.

    As for those spoiled ballots from Mr Don and Mr George: ChatGPT has it down as “a British children’s television series featuring the characters Mr. Don and Mr. George who run a toy shop”. As a result, “the show primarily focuses on themes of friendship, imagination, and problem-solving rather than political matters. Therefore, it’s unlikely that the characters would have specific political preferences or vote for political parties in the 2024 UK General Election.” But the talking puppet clock from Don’t Hug Me I’m Scared would be more than willing to go out and vote. Sure, why not.

    Anyway, onto the final results. How will it end up? Who’ll have their feet up on the desk in Number 10 come the 5th of July?

    A HUNG PARLIAMENT. You read it here first.

    So, one less chart to point your face at. Using the channel each sitcom first appeared on, how do characters on each channel tend to vote? This is incredibly spurious and pointless, of course. Not least as the dataset is hardly packed with ITV sitcoms (though it gets to claim Men Behaving Badly for itself), but there you go.

    And that’s it for a very unpopular series of blog posts. Hooray! Tune in next time for the first of my 76-part aural history of Captain Butler.

  • The Sitcom General Election/AI: Shit or Not Referendum, Part 4: Nathan Barley, Phoenix Nights and Spaced

    The Sitcom General Election/AI: Shit or Not Referendum, Part 4: Nathan Barley, Phoenix Nights and Spaced

    Given the slightly strange results it’s generated so far, I’ve retitled the series to factor in whether AI will come out of this with any credibility or not. It can’t even get a grip on what it would look like if the October 1974 BBC General Election coverage had been anchored by a cartoon moose.

    WHERE ARE THEIR LEGS? AND THAT’S CGI, I ASKED FOR A HANNA-BARBERA CARTOON MOOSE

    But anyway, onto part four of our gallop through the sitcom polls, and a trio of Channel 4 sitcom characters wander into our theoretical (and AI-assisted) polling booth. Will AI start to redeem itself?

    Nathan Barley

    Charlie Brooker and Chris Morris’ satire of self-obsessed nuMeeja nodes might not be up there with the classic sitcoms from Four, but it has a variety of characters that don’t fit in with standard sitcom tropes. Plus Benedict Cumberbatch was in it (for about twenty seconds). So, how were the Hoxton hacks likely to vote? Over to ChatGPT at the count:

    Nathan Barley: The titular character, Nathan is a vapid and self-obsessed media wannabe. He might vote for the Conservative Party if he sees it as beneficial for his business interests and social status. Alternatively, he could support a trendy, image-focused party like the Liberal Democrats, if they appeal to his sense of being progressive and cool.

    Dan Ashcroft: The disillusioned journalist who sees through the superficiality around him, Dan would likely support the Labour Party. His disdain for the vacuous culture represented by characters like Nathan aligns with Labour’s focus on social justice, equality, and challenging the status quo.

    Claire Ashcroft: Dan’s sister, who is an earnest documentary filmmaker, would probably vote for the Green Party. Her commitment to meaningful, socially-conscious work aligns with the Greens’ emphasis on environmental issues, social justice, and progressive policies.

    Pingu: The tech-savvy but somewhat clueless friend of Nathan, Pingu might support the Liberal Democrats. His tech-centric lifestyle and desire to appear progressive fit with the Lib Dems’ focus on innovation and moderate social policies.

    Jonatton Yeah?: The pretentious editor of the fictional magazine “Sugar Ape,” Jonatton might support the Conservatives, valuing their pro-business stance and focus on individual success. Alternatively, he might vote for whichever party he believes aligns with the latest trends and keeps him in the social limelight, potentially the Liberal Democrats.

    Toby: Another character who thrives on the superficial hipster culture, Toby would likely follow a similar pattern to Nathan Barley. He might vote Conservative if he sees personal gain or lean towards the Liberal Democrats for their trendy, progressive image.

    Personally, I reckon Barley would vote for a new unheard-of single-topic party set up by one of his school chums that ultimately gathers a total of 27 votes, but that’s probably not part of the training data. Anyway, what did CoPilot say?

    Nathan Barley: As the epitome of the self-absorbed, tech-obsessed hipster, Nathan would likely gravitate toward a party that promises to revolutionize the digital landscape. His vote might go to the Greens, who advocate for environmental sustainability and progressive tech policies.

    Dan Ashcroft: The disillusioned journalist and creator of the infamous “Rise of the Idiots” article would probably lean toward Labour. Dan’s disdain for mainstream culture and corporate influence aligns with Labour’s historical focus on social justice and workers’ rights.

    Jonatton Yeah?: The absurdly named editor-in-chief of Sugar Ape magazine would likely vote Conservative. His penchant for superficiality, elitism, and corporate interests mirrors the Tory party’s traditional values.

    Toby: Nathan’s clueless flatmate Toby might not even bother voting. But if he did, it’d be a random choice based on whichever party had the most colourful campaign posters.

    Pingu: Ben Whishaw’s character, Pingu, Nathan’s tech-savvy boy-slave, would likely support the Liberal Democrats. Their focus on civil liberties, individual freedoms, and tech innovation would resonate with him.

    Ned Smanks and Rufus Onslatt: The gormless graphic designers at Sugar Ape would probably vote for the Monster Raving Loony Party or some other fringe group. Their lack of critical thinking and penchant for absurdity aligns with such choices.

    Sasha: The receptionist at Sugar Ape, Sasha, might lean toward the SNP or Plaid Cymru, given her Welsh heritage. She’d prioritize regional interests and cultural identity.

    No idea where that last one has come from, but curious that CoPilot includes Ned Smanks but excludes Chloe Ashcroft, one of the main three characters in the entire series. Tsk. Anyway, what’s next?

    Phoenix Nights

    Garlic bread? Etc. Briefly Britain’s most popular sitcom, currently unavailable on any streaming service but available in charity shops throughout the land. The first series is brilliant, while the second series… well, the Das Boot fruit machine is quite funny. Or was that series one? Anyway, how would they all vote? ChatGPT, over to you:

    Brian Potter: The ambitious and scheming owner of the club, Brian would likely vote Conservative. His entrepreneurial spirit, focus on personal gain, and desire to succeed in business align with the Conservative Party’s pro-business policies.

    Jerry “The Saint” St. Clair: The club’s loyal but often frustrated entertainment manager, Jerry might lean towards the Labour Party. His working-class background and dedication to the community fit well with Labour’s focus on social equality and support for public services.

    Max Bygraves: One half of the club’s bouncer duo, Max might support the Conservative Party, valuing their stance on law and order. His job as a doorman and his no-nonsense attitude align with conservative values on security and stability.

    Paddy O’Shea: The other half of the bouncer duo, Paddy, could lean towards Labour. His more laid-back personality and camaraderie with the club’s patrons suggest a preference for policies that support the working class and community cohesion.

    Les Campbell: The club’s handyman and aspiring DJ, Les might vote for the Liberal Democrats. His practical skills and desire for progress and innovation in his DJ career align with the Lib Dems’ focus on personal freedoms and support for the creative industries.

    Ray Von: The club’s resident DJ and jack-of-all-trades, Ray Von might support the Green Party. His quirky and inventive nature fits with the Greens’ emphasis on environmental sustainability and progressive social policies.

    Young Kenny: The naive and well-meaning club employee, Young Kenny would likely support Labour. His working-class roots and straightforward outlook on life align with Labour’s focus on fairness and social justice.

    Spencer: The club’s enthusiastic but inexperienced young worker, Spencer, might also lean towards Labour. His youthful idealism and aspiration for a better future align with Labour’s promises for social mobility and opportunities for young people.

    Well, it’s doubtful that Max would really vote Tory given his occasional sad lament of “Thatcher’s Britain” is Road to Nowhere, but I can’t blame ChatGPT for not having watched that. Most people wish they hadn’t, either. Over to CoPilot.

    Brian Potter: The club owner and larger-than-life personality. Brian might lean toward the Conservative Party. His entrepreneurial spirit and desire for success align with their values.

    Jerry St. Clair: The flamboyant club compère. Jerry would likely vote for the Liberal Democrats. Their focus on civil liberties and individual rights resonates with his colourful personality.

    Max and Paddy: The bouncers with hearts of gold. Max and Paddy might support Labour. Their working-class background and loyalty to their friends mirror Labour’s historical focus on social justice.

    Ray Von: The dodgy DJ. Ray would probably vote for the Monster Raving Loony Party or some other fringe group. His eccentricity and lack of seriousness align with such choices.

    Den Perry: The rival club owner. Den’s shady dealings and disregard for rules might lead him to vote for Reform UK. Their anti-establishment stance could appeal to him.

    Kenny Senior: Brian’s father and a club regular. Kenny would likely vote for the Greens. His love for nature and concern for the environment align with their policies.

    Holy Mary: The devout Catholic cleaner. Holy Mary might lean toward the Christian Party. Her faith and desire for moral values could guide her choice.

    I’ve checked, and there really is a Christian Party in the UK, so credit to CoPilot for factoring that in. And having Den Perry going for The Nastiest Party seems appropriate. You can imagine him standing in the council elections for them.

    Onto our last programme for today. Get your eyeballs into a Dutch angle, it’s…

    Spaced

    Jess and Simon’s influential sitcom (helped, of course, by Edgar Wright) counts as another ‘youth vote’ piece of polling, so what would the residents of 23 Meteor Street go for? ChatGPT to start:

    Tim Bisley: The laid-back, comic book-loving slacker, Tim would likely support the Green Party. His creative, alternative lifestyle and interest in environmental issues fit well with the Greens’ progressive policies on sustainability and social justice.

    Daisy Steiner: The aspiring writer and free spirit, Daisy might lean towards the Labour Party. Her artistic ambitions, concern for social issues, and working-class background align with Labour’s focus on equality and support for the creative industries.

    Mike Watt: The military enthusiast and Tim’s best friend, Mike would probably vote Conservative. His respect for the military, interest in national security, and traditional values align with the Conservative Party’s stance on defense and order.

    Marsha Klein: The boozy landlady with a complicated personal life, Marsha might support the Liberal Democrats. Her pragmatic approach to life, combined with a desire for personal freedom and a balanced approach to social issues, fits well with the Lib Dems’ centrist policies.

    Brian Topp: The intense and introverted artist, Brian would likely support the Green Party. His commitment to his art and unconventional lifestyle align with the Greens’ emphasis on environmentalism, social justice, and support for the arts.

    Twist Morgan: Daisy’s fashion-obsessed friend, Twist, might lean towards the Liberal Democrats. Her focus on trends, personal freedoms, and moderate approach to politics align with the Lib Dems’ appeal to young, urban professionals.

    Tyres O’Flaherty: The energetic bike courier and party animal, Tyres might support the Green Party, valuing their emphasis on sustainability and progressive social policies, which resonate with his active lifestyle and countercultural attitude.

    A lot of love for the Greens there. Will CoPilot suggest anything different?

    Tim Bisley (played by Simon Pegg): Tim, the aspiring comic book artist, would likely lean toward the Labour Party. His creative spirit and desire for social justice align with their values.

    Daisy Steiner (played by Jessica Stevenson): Daisy, the aspiring writer, might vote for the Green Party. Her idealism and concern for the environment resonate with their policies.

    Marsha Klein (played by Julia Deakin): Marsha, the alcoholic landlady, would probably support the Conservative Party. Her love for wine and desire for stability align with their traditional values.

    Brian Topp (played by Mark Heap): Brian, the angst-ridden artist, could vote for the Liberal Democrats. His artistic sensibilities and desire for change might lead him in that direction.

    Mike Watt (played by Nick Frost): Mike, the military-obsessed friend, would likely back the Reform UK party. His fascination with order and protocol aligns with their anti-establishment stance.

    Twist Morgan (played by Katy Carmichael): Twist, Brian’s love interest, might lean toward the Monster Raving Loony Party. Her quirky personality and unconventional choices fit their profile.

    In short: ‘hmm-face emoji’. The Mike of the time of the series would never go Reform. The Mike of 20+ years later when he’s a bitter middle-aged army reject with two ex-wives, yes – but that’s not what we asked for. Mind you, if ever there’s a sitcom character who’d vote for the Bring Back National Service policy…

    Ah well, here’s a summary of today’s voting.

    And here’s what those votes do to the State of the Parties.

    Blimey, eh? Either AI really doesn’t get a grip on the political undercurrent gurgling away beneath the pavements of Britain, or it’s looking a lot like Starmer’s about to go all Kinnock 1992.

    What will the next update bring? Find out in a couple of days.

  • BrokenTV’s Sitcom Swingometer Spectacular! Part 3: Hi-De-Hi, Red Dwarf and The Young Ones

    BrokenTV’s Sitcom Swingometer Spectacular! Part 3: Hi-De-Hi, Red Dwarf and The Young Ones

    Welcome back to day three of our ongoing (and, many might argue, entirely pointless) mission to see how Britain’s sitcom characters of fore might vote in the 2024 General Election (whilst offering a rare non-job-stealing chore to ChatGPT and CoPilot).

    So far, we’ve heard from Dad’s Army, Hancock’s Half Hour and Are You Being Served? in part one, then Drop the Dead Donkey, Peep Show and The Fall and Rise of Reginald Perrin in part two. Three more programmes at the polling station today, kicking off with

    Hi-De-Hi!

    [RUBS EYES, LOOKS AT BOTTLE OF SCOTCH, LOOKS AT BALLOT SHEET, LOOKS AT BOTTLE OF SCOTCH, THROWS BALLOT SHEET OVER SHOULDER]

    Well, here’s a constituency with a larger than average population. But where would the Maplins massive put their respective exes? Over to you, ChatGPT:

    “Hi-De-Hi!” is a British sitcom set in the 1950s at the fictional Maplin’s Holiday Camp, featuring a variety of colourful characters among the camp staff. Here’s a speculative guess on how these characters might vote in the 2024 UK General Election:

    Jeffrey Fairbrother: The well-educated and somewhat bumbling entertainment manager, Jeffrey would likely support the Liberal Democrats. His academic background and moderate, thoughtful approach align well with the party’s centrist and intellectual appeal.

    Ted Bovis: The camp comedian and schemer, Ted would probably vote Conservative. His pragmatic approach to life and entrepreneurial spirit fit with the party’s business-friendly policies.

    Spike Dixon: The young, idealistic camp comic, Spike might lean towards Labour. His youthful enthusiasm and concern for fairness and social issues align with Labour’s progressive stance.

    Gladys Pugh: The patriotic and traditional Welsh Chief Yellowcoat, Gladys would likely support the Conservative Party. Her traditional values and emphasis on duty and decorum fit well with conservative principles.

    Yvonne and Barry Stuart-Hargreaves: The snobbish ballroom dancing couple, Yvonne and Barry, would almost certainly vote Conservative. Their upper-class pretensions and desire for social status align with the party’s traditional values.

    Peggy Ollerenshaw: The ambitious and hard-working chalet maid, Peggy would likely support Labour. Her working-class background and desire for upward mobility align with Labour’s focus on social justice and support for the working class.

    Fred Quilley: The former jockey turned riding instructor, Fred might lean towards the Liberal Democrats or Labour. His experiences with the ups and downs of life might make him sympathetic to policies that support social mobility and personal freedom.

    Mr. Partridge: The misanthropic Punch and Judy man, Mr. Partridge, might support the Conservative Party, valuing their traditional and perhaps more cynical view of human nature.

    Sylvia Garnsey and Betty Whistler: The other Yellowcoats, Sylvia and Betty, might have differing views but could lean towards Labour or the Liberal Democrats. Their roles in the entertainment and service industry align with parties that focus on workers’ rights and social equality.

    Right, that’s all them in the computer. Personally, I’d have pegged Ted Bovis as a Labour man, but one who’d immediately switch sides if he ever landed a TV or radio gig. Over to CoPilot:

    Ah, the delightful characters from Hi-De-Hi!—a classic British sitcom set in a holiday camp. Let’s imagine how they might cast their votes in the 2024 UK General Election based on their personalities and backgrounds:

    Jeffrey Fairbrother (Simon Cadell):
    As a former professor of archaeology at Cambridge University, Jeffrey might lean toward the Liberal Democrats. Their focus on education and intellectual pursuits could resonate with him.

    Ted Bovis (Paul Shane):
    Ted, the camp host, is a bit of a schemer. He’d probably vote for a party that promises tax breaks or business-friendly policies. In this case, he might lean toward the Conservatives.

    Gladys Pugh (Ruth Madoc):
    Gladys, with her Welsh charm and love for entertainment, could be a fan of the Labour Party. Their emphasis on social welfare and community support aligns with her caring nature.

    Spike Dixon (Jeffrey Holland):
    Spike, the camp comic, is all about making people laugh. He might appreciate the Green Party for their environmental focus and commitment to a better future.

    Peggy Ollerenshaw (Su Pollard):
    Peggy, the chalet maid, dreams of becoming a Yellowcoat. She’d likely vote for a party that champions equal opportunities and social mobility. The Labour Party fits the bill.

    Sqdn-Ldr Clive Dempster DFC (David Griffin):
    Clive, who takes over as the new Entertainments Manager, could be a traditionalist. He might favour the Conservatives due to their historical association with stability and order.

    Remember, this is all in good fun, and the characters’ political preferences are purely fictional! 😄 If you want to know the real-world party standings in the 2024 UK General Election, recent polls suggest that the Labour Party is leading, followed by Reform UK, the Liberal Democrats, and the Green Party. However, for our Hi-De-Hi! gang, let’s keep it light-hearted and whimsical!

    A lighter sampling of the cast there, but quite interesting that the newly-added disclaimer addendum to the suggestions completely ignores the Conservatives and the SNP, the parties with the first and third largest numbers of MPs in the Commons. Though that likely won’t be the case in a couple of months. Possibly. Long way to go yet. ONTO THE NEXT PROGRAMME.

    Red Dwarf

    Yep, no reason to discount the boys from the Dwarf yet because they’re marooned in deep space three million years in the future. There’s always postal voting, and a few episodes have shown they’ve been able to travel back in time. So, y’know. Over to you, ChatGPT.

    “Red Dwarf,” the British sci-fi sitcom set on the eponymous mining spaceship, features a cast of diverse and eccentric characters. Based on their personalities and backgrounds, here’s a speculative guess on how they might vote in the 2024 UK General Election:

    Dave Lister: The laid-back, working-class last human alive, Lister would likely vote for Labour. His background, empathy for the underdog, and desire for a fairer society align with Labour’s focus on social justice and support for the working class.

    Arnold Rimmer: The neurotic, status-obsessed hologram, Rimmer would almost certainly vote Conservative. His respect for hierarchy, aspiration for upward mobility, and disdain for what he perceives as laziness fit well with conservative principles.

    Cat: The vain and fashion-obsessed humanoid descended from cats, Cat might not be particularly politically engaged. However, if he did vote, he might support the Liberal Democrats for their centrist and balanced approach, focusing on personal freedoms and individualism, which aligns with his self-centred personality.

    Kryten: The service-oriented and highly ethical mechanoid, Kryten, would likely support the Green Party. His concern for the well-being of others, environmental awareness, and desire to serve the greater good align with the Green Party’s platform on sustainability and social justice.

    Holly: The ship’s computer, Holly, with a sometimes quirky but logical personality, might lean towards the Liberal Democrats. Holly’s focus on logic and practicality fits well with their balanced and rational policies.

    Kristine Kochanski: Depending on whether we’re considering the original series’ Kochanski or the alternate reality Kochanski, her vote could differ. The original series’ Kochanski, a competent and ambitious officer, might support Labour, given her practical and down-to-earth nature. The alternate reality Kochanski, who is more polished and sophisticated, might lean towards the Liberal Democrats for their progressive yet balanced stance.

    Extra credit for offering responses for both Original Kochanski and Alt Reality Kochanski, there. What say you, CoPilot?

    Dave Lister (Craig Charles):
    Lister, the last human alive, is a laid-back, guitar-playing slob. He’d probably vote for a party that promises a good time and a relaxed approach to life. In this case, he might lean toward the Liberal Democrats—after all, they’re all about freedom and individuality.

    Arnold Rimmer (Chris Barrie):
    Rimmer, the hologram with a massive ego, would likely vote for a party that aligns with his self-importance. Given his penchant for rules and regulations, he might lean toward the Conservatives. Plus, they’re all about maintaining order, just like Rimmer.

    The Cat (Danny John-Jules):
    The Cat, a flamboyant humanoid feline, is all about style, fashion, and looking good. He’d probably vote for a party that appreciates aesthetics and glamour. The Green Party might catch his eye—they’re into eco-friendly fashion, after all.

    Kryten (Robert Llewellyn):
    Kryten, the neurotic android, is all about efficiency, cleanliness, and following protocols. He’d likely vote for a party that prioritizes technology and progress. The Labour Party could be his choice—they’re all about improving living conditions for everyone.

    Holly (Norman Lovett):
    Holly, the senile ship’s computer, might not even remember to vote. But if he did, he’d probably go for a party that promises a good laugh. Let’s say he’d vote for the Monster Raving Loony Party—because why not?

    Kristine Kochanski (Alternate Universe):
    Kochanski, the alternate universe version of the ship’s officer, is smart, resourceful, and practical. She’d likely vote for a party that focuses on science, exploration, and innovation. The Liberal Democrats or even the Green Party could be her picks.

    Hmm, Dave Lister voting Lib Dem seems a bit of a stretch. Unless the rationale of it was that he’s desperately trying to impress (Alt Universe) Kochanski, of course. Onto our final programme for today.

    The Young Ones

    Vegetable rights and peace! Probably fair to say we’ve been ignoring the YOUNG ADULT vote so far, so let’s redress that imbalance a little. But what would the Scumbag students go for? Let’s see. ChatGPT, your starter for ten:

    Rick: The self-proclaimed “People’s Poet” and wannabe anarchist, Rick would almost certainly vote for a far-left party. In the context of the 2024 election, he might support the Labour Party, especially if it has a strong socialist wing, or even a more radical left-wing party like the Socialist Workers Party or the Green Party for their progressive policies on social justice and environmental issues.

    Vyvyan: The violent and destructive punk medical student, Vyvyan would likely support a party that represents rebellion against the establishment. He might lean towards the Green Party for their radical stance on change, or possibly not vote at all, dismissing the political system entirely.

    Neil: The depressed, hippie pacifist, Neil would almost certainly vote for the Green Party. His deep concern for the environment, peace, and social equality aligns perfectly with the Greens’ policies.

    Mike: The suave and manipulative “cool person,” Mike might vote for whichever party he believes will benefit him the most personally. Given his opportunistic nature, he could support the Conservatives for their business-friendly policies or potentially the Liberal Democrats if they promise advantageous policies for self-starters and entrepreneurs.

    Alexei Sayle’s Characters: Alexei Sayle often played various exaggerated characters in the show, usually with a working-class or extreme left-wing bent. These characters would likely support far-left parties such as the Socialist Workers Party or other radical left groups.

    A new addition to the list of parties, there. Not plumping for The Communist Party of Great Britain might seem a bit of a missed open goal regarding the Balowskis, but the SWP is as close as dammit (also the CPoGB dissolved in 1991). Plus, suggesting Rick would go for Starmer-era Labour suggests the data used for the machine learning is a good five years out of date. Anyway, let’s see what CoPilot go for:

    Vyvyan Basterd (Adrian Edmondson):
    Vyvyan, the punk medical student with an appetite for destruction, would probably vote for a party that promises chaos, rebellion, and smashing things. In this case, he might lean toward the Anarchist Party (if such a thing existed).

    Rick (Rik Mayall):
    Rick, the self-styled “People’s Poet” and faux anarchist, would likely vote for a party that champions radical change and poetic justice. He might lean toward the Socialist Party or the Green Party.

    Mike (Christopher Ryan):
    Mike, the serious and bossy cool person, would probably vote for a party that emphasizes stability and pragmatism. The Labour Party or the Liberal Democrats might appeal to him.

    Neil (Nigel Planer):
    Neil, the permanently depressed, lentil-loving hippie, would likely vote for a party that promotes peace, love, and environmental consciousness. The Green Party or even the Peace and Love Party could be his choice.

    Skipping the problem of lumping the Balowskis into a single paragraph by just… not mentioning them makes the task a bit easier, I guess. Interesting divergence between the AI systems on this one, and a bit of cred clawed back by CoPilot in suggesting Rick would go for the SWP and that Vyv would vote Anarchist (the closest equivalent probably being the Anarchist Federation, albeit a federation of anarcho-communists rather than a political party). That said, I’ve googled ‘the Peace and Love Party’ and that just brings up a bunch of results for 60s-themed party supplies on Etsy.

    So, what are the summaries from today’s polling?

    And what does that do to the overall table?

    So, good news for the Tories in general, and an update that would see the Green Party rubbing their eyes in disbelief.

    What could the next update bring? Time will tell. There are a lot of sitcoms still to account for, after all. Until then: bye.

  • BrokenTV’s Sitcom Swingometer Spectacular! Part 1: Dad’s Army, Hancock, Are You Being Served?

    BrokenTV’s Sitcom Swingometer Spectacular! Part 1: Dad’s Army, Hancock, Are You Being Served?

    Or, if you prefer, I Asked Two AI Programs How Classic British Sitcom Characters Would Vote in the 2024 General Election. The results may surprise you. Not going to lie, they surprised me.

    So, there’s a General Election about to happen in the UK (don’t forget to register if you haven’t already, and remember that even if you don’t have photo ID you can still do postal voting).

    A big part of any General Election cycle is seeing all the opinion polls go up and down and wobble about a bit. And, obviously, a similarly sizeable section of the cycle is “passing that long campaigning period by contributing to Britain’s nonsense reserves by trying to find something to say about the whole sorry debacle”.

    Here’s my offering.

    So, what if we tallied up the presumed votes from various classic British sitcom characters to see which of the 2024 Political Parties would fill the majority of Sitcomland’s Parliament? That would be interesting, wouldn’t it? And, in keeping with Britain’s TV Election Night coverage since time immemorial, I’m going to skirt any personal responsibility by blaming my predictions on computers. And as it’s 2024, let’s use AI.

    For the purposes of this grand folly, I’m going to see what both CoPilot and ChatGPT think. I was also going to use Google’s Gemini, but that didn’t even understand the bloody question:

    Hardly a surprise from a piece of tech that recommends using glue to prevent cheese falling off your pizza. So, the big two it is.

    Quick ground rules: I’ll let the software decide who constitutes a main character from each, and if it suggests more than one likely party we’ll use the first suggestion as gospel. Any suggested parties that don’t actually exist, we’ll run with the nearest modern equivalent. And we’ll keep a running total at the end of each update. Sorted.

    We’ll start the batting with three well-known sitcoms containing a good old cross-class mixture of characters. First up to the crease: the Warmington-on-Sea Home Guard.

    DAD’S ARMY

    “Don’t tell him (who you’ll be voting for), Pike.”

    Crossing my fingers that neither chunk of AI tech uses this information to ultimately enslave humanity, over to ChatGPT. So, in the 2024 UK General Election, which parties would the characters from Dad’s Army vote for?

    “Dad’s Army,” a beloved British sitcom set during World War II, features characters who represent a variety of social classes and political views. If they were to vote in the 2024 UK General Election, their choices would likely reflect their personalities and backgrounds. Here are some speculative guesses:

    1. Captain Mainwaring: A staunchly patriotic and conservative bank manager, Mainwaring would likely support the Conservative Party. His traditional values and leadership style align well with conservative principles.
    2. Sergeant Wilson: As an upper-middle-class gentleman with a relaxed demeanour, Wilson might lean towards the Liberal Democrats. His more liberal and inclusive outlook on life fits with the party’s moderate and centrist positions.
    3. Lance Corporal Jones: A patriotic and somewhat old-fashioned butcher, Jones is fiercely loyal to his country. He would probably vote Conservative, valuing their stance on national security and tradition.
    4. Private Frazer: A cynical and often pessimistic undertaker, Frazer might be drawn to a party with a strong stance on social justice and financial responsibility. He could support the Labour Party, particularly if they emphasize economic fairness and public services.
    5. Private Godfrey: The gentle and kind-hearted medic, Godfrey would likely support the Green Party. His caring nature and concern for the well-being of others and the environment align with Green policies.
    6. Private Walker: As a wheeler-dealer with a knack for business, Walker might support whichever party he sees as beneficial for his entrepreneurial interests. This could be the Conservatives for their business-friendly policies or possibly a party like Reform UK, depending on the political landscape and his personal views on Brexit and deregulation.
    7. Private Pike: The youngest member of the platoon, Pike’s vote could go towards Labour. His youth and idealism might draw him to a party promising social progress and opportunities for young people.

    A surprisingly cogent summary, there. It didn’t even suggest any of them have eight fingers or anything, though I personally think Fraser would go SNP. Over to you, CoPilot:

    Ah, the delightful characters from Dad’s Army! Let’s take a look at some of the iconic members of the Walmington-on-Sea Home Guard and speculate on their political leanings:

    1. Captain George Mainwaring (portrayed by Arthur Lowe): As the pompous yet patriotic local bank manager, Captain Mainwaring would likely align with the Conservative Party. His sense of duty and traditional values would resonate with their platform1.
    2. Sergeant Arthur Wilson (portrayed by John Le Mesurier): The mild-mannered bank clerk and Mainwaring’s second-in-command might lean toward the Liberal Democrats. Wilson’s pragmatic approach and desire for compromise would align with their centrist policies.
    3. Lance-Corporal Jack Jones (portrayed by Clive Dunn): The aging butcher and war veteran, Jones, would probably support the UK Independence Party (UKIP). His catchphrase “Don’t panic!” and love for the British Empire reflect a nostalgic view that resonates with UKIP’s stance on sovereignty and independence.
    4. Private Joe Walker (portrayed by James Beck): As the black marketeer and shrewd businessman, Walker would likely vote for whichever party promised economic prosperity. His opportunistic nature might lead him to support the party with the most favourable business policies.
    5. Private Frank Pike (portrayed by Ian Lavender): The young and innocent Pike would likely be drawn to the Green Party. His idealism and concern for the environment align with their focus on sustainability and conservation.
    6. Private James Frazer (portrayed by John Laurie): The dour Scottish undertaker would probably lean toward the Scottish National Party (SNP). Frazer’s scepticism and desire for independence resonate with the SNP’s goals for Scotland.
    7. Private Charles Godfrey (portrayed by Arnold Ridley): The gentle and elderly medic would likely support the Liberal Democrats. His compassionate nature and desire for social welfare align with their policies.

    An interesting convergence, there. While it’s open to interpretation who Walker would go for, and UKIP are basically now Reform, that’s basically just two of the seven main characters the AI bots are in agreement with. Anyway, I can’t stand around pondering if Private Cheeseman would’ve gone for Labour or Plaid, I’m off to East Cheam.

    HANCOCK’S HALF HOUR

    Some topical timing, as this update goes live on the same weekend Tony Hancock’s ATV series gets a first showing on actual telly since 1963 (on Rewind TV, Sky channel 190, which is already full of some lovely stuff. The first episode is accompanied on Sunday night by Dave Allen’s documentary on the Great British Eccentric, which is Peak Telly as far as I’m concerned). But it’s the BBC original we’re looking at here. Over to you, ChatGPT. In the 2024 UK General Election, which parties would the characters from Hancock’s Half Hour vote for?

    “Hancock’s Half Hour,” another classic British sitcom, revolves around the life of Anthony Aloysius St John Hancock and his interactions with his friends. Here’s a speculative guess on how the main characters might vote in the 2024 UK General Election:

    1. Tony Hancock: As the main character, Hancock is often depicted as a frustrated, slightly snobbish, and somewhat self-important figure with a deep sense of irony and social awareness. He might vote for Labour, as he often portrays a common man dealing with the absurdities of life, showing sympathy towards the working class and social justice issues. Alternatively, his occasional pretentiousness and desire for status might push him towards the Conservative Party if he thinks it aligns with his aspirations.
    2. Sidney Balmoral James: Sid James, the roguish, cunning, and often opportunistic character, would likely support the Conservative Party for its business-friendly policies, given his entrepreneurial nature and schemes. However, he might also be pragmatic and vote for any party that promises to benefit him personally, possibly even considering Reform UK or another party with a focus on deregulation.
    3. Bill Kerr: Bill, often depicted as naïve and loyal, might vote for Labour, reflecting his working-class roots and straightforward, everyman attitude. His simplicity and sincerity align with the values of fairness and social support typically championed by Labour.
    4. Miss Griselda Pugh: Miss Pugh, the secretary with a sharp tongue and practical mindset, might lean towards the Liberal Democrats. Her independent and no-nonsense attitude could find a home in a party that emphasizes moderation, pragmatism, and individual rights.
    5. Kenneth Williams (Various Roles): Kenneth Williams played various roles, often with a more flamboyant and intellectual twist. Depending on which character he’s embodying, he might support a range of parties. Generally, his more educated and sometimes elitist personas could lean towards the Liberal Democrats for their intellectual appeal and centrist policies. Alternatively, some of his more conservative roles might support the Conservative Party.

    First, bonus points to ChatGPT for going with the radio series over the TV version. Secondly, I’m confiscating those bonus points for missing that Tony Hancock(‘s character of the same name) states that he’s a Tory in The Blood Donor. Though one could specify that it’s the 2024 versions of each party we’re looking at here, so I’m giving the points back again. Anyway, over to you, CoPilot.

    Ah, Hancock’s Half Hour! A classic radio and television comedy series that left an enduring mark on British humour. Let’s delve into the fictional political preferences of some of its beloved characters:

    1. Tony Hancock (portrayed by himself): As the bumbling and perpetually frustrated comedian, Hancock might find himself torn between various parties. His indecisiveness could lead him to vote for the Monster Raving Loony Party just for the sheer absurdity of it.
    2. Sidney James (portrayed by himself): The unscrupulous landlord and Hancock’s foil would likely lean toward the Conservative Party. James’s cunning and opportunistic nature align with their traditional values.
    3. Hugh Lloyd (portrayed by himself): The good-hearted and somewhat naive Hugh would probably support the Labour Party. His empathy for the common man and desire for social justice resonate with their platform.
    4. Clive Dunn (portrayed by himself): As the lovable and absent-minded Corporal Jones, Dunn might vote for the UK Independence Party (UKIP). His catchphrase “Don’t panic!” could easily translate to “Take back control!”
    5. Kenneth Williams (portrayed as various unnamed characters referred to as “Snide”): The versatile Williams would likely play the field, attending rallies of every party just to gather material for his next witty monologue.

    Okay, just pretending to know it all by starting “Ah, [name of thing]” is much less convincing when you think Corporal Jones was also in Hancock’s Half Hour. So, I’ll ignore that. But interesting answers otherwise. Okay, onto our last programme.

    ARE YOU BEING SERVED?

    Ooh, sounds like the title of a manifesto, doesn’t it? What do our robot overlords think here? Hoi, ChatGPT – in the 2024 UK General Election, which parties would the characters from Are You Being Served vote for?

    “Are You Being Served?” is a British sitcom set in the fictional department store Grace Brothers, featuring a range of colourful characters. Based on their personalities and backgrounds, here are speculative guesses on how the main characters might vote in the 2024 UK General Election:

    1. Mr. Wilberforce Claybourne Humphries: Mr. Humphries, the flamboyant and witty salesman, might lean towards the Liberal Democrats. His progressive and inclusive nature aligns with their policies on social justice, individual freedoms, and LGBTQ+ rights.
    2. Mrs. Betty Slocombe: Mrs. Slocombe, with her working-class background and strong opinions, might support the Labour Party. Her concerns about job security, fair wages, and social equality resonate with Labour’s platform.
    3. Captain Stephen Peacock: Captain Peacock, the dignified floorwalker with a military background, would likely vote Conservative. His conservative demeanour, emphasis on tradition, and respect for authority align well with the party’s values.
    4. Mr. Cuthbert Rumbold: Mr. Rumbold, the somewhat bumbling and bureaucratic manager, might support the Conservative Party, reflecting his managerial role and desire for stability and business-friendly policies.
    5. Miss Shirley Brahms: Miss Brahms, the young and trendy saleswoman with a Cockney accent, might lean towards Labour. Her working-class roots and youthful energy align with Labour’s focus on social mobility, education, and opportunities for young people.
    6. Mr. Dick Lucas: Mr. Lucas, the cheeky junior salesman, might support Labour or potentially the Green Party, given his youthful outlook and likely progressive stance on social issues and the environment.
    7. Mr. Ernest Grainger: Mr. Grainger, the grumpy and traditional senior salesman, would likely vote Conservative. His old-fashioned views and resistance to change fit well with the party’s traditional and conservative policies.
    8. Mr. Beverley Harman: Mr. Harman, the maintenance man with a rough-around-the-edges charm, might support Labour. His working-class background and straightforward nature align with Labour’s focus on workers’ rights and social justice.

    Okay, over to you CoPilot.

    Let’s imagine the political leanings of some of its iconic characters:

    1. Mrs. Slocombe (portrayed by Mollie Sugden): The flamboyant and fashion-conscious head of the ladies’ department would likely lean toward the Liberal Democrats. Her colourful personality and desire for individual expression align with their centrist policies.
    2. Mr. Humphries (portrayed by John Inman): The cheeky and effeminate senior sales assistant might vote for the Green Party. His love for nature, quirky humour, and commitment to equality resonate with their environmental and social justice agenda.
    3. Captain Peacock (portrayed by Frank Thornton): As the pompous floorwalker, Captain Peacock would probably align with the Conservative Party. His adherence to hierarchy, traditional values, and penchant for authority mirror their platform.
    4. Mr. Lucas (portrayed by Trevor Bannister): The cheeky junior sales assistant would likely support the Labour Party. His rebellious streak, desire for fairness, and working-class background resonate with their policies.
    5. Miss Brahms (portrayed by Wendy Richard): The sassy and stylish junior sales assistant might lean toward the Liberal Democrats. Miss Brahms’s modern outlook, ambition, and desire for progress align with their centrist stance.
    6. Mr. Grainger (portrayed by Arthur Brough): The elderly and somewhat grumpy senior sales assistant would probably vote for the UK Independence Party (UKIP). His nostalgia for the past and scepticism about change resonate with their platform.

    Well, more divergence. At least this proves they aren’t both sucking up information from the same source. So, here’s a summary of the results we’ve seen from each, erm, polling company:

    And a rundown of how the parties are looking based on our three constituencies so far:

    A split in the voting, and a surprise lead for the Liberal Democrats according to CoPilot. Still, early days yet. It could all change once we get to the results for… I haven’t decided yet. Fawlty Towers, Sunnyside Farm and Justin’s House?

    Anyway, until next time. I’ve been David Dimbleby and you’ve been marvellous. Goodnight.