Happy New Year! Now, who wants to feel old?

You may have heard of a Twitter account called Meldrew Point. If you haven’t, the account’s bio sums it up nice and succinctly: “to reach Meldrew Point, you must be 19,537 days old: the same age as Richard Wilson when episode 1 of One Foot In The Grave was aired”. The main business of the account generally involves pointing out when various public figures have reached that age (most recently Ice Cube, Peter Dinklage and Jacob Rees-Mogg), highlighting how bloody old we’re all getting.

Taking that idea and running with it*, here’s a new thing to point your bleary 2023 face at: equivalent data for a further 200-or-so British sitcom characters through the ages. A long list of characters, sorted by the age of the actor who played them on the broadcast date of each character’s first appearance. Simple. Time-consuming, but simple.

(*Actually, it was part of an idea I’d worked on a few years ago which ultimately didn’t go anywhere. It’s good to recycle.)

For why? Well, if you want to be shaken by the fact you’re now somehow older than the Vicar from Dad’s Army, or just express surprise at Miss Jones from Rising Damp being the same age as Gary from Men Behaving Badly, or that Trigger from Only Fools and Horses was younger than Dave from The Royle Family in their respective s1e1’s, here you go. Enjoy!

(And please note: yes, the age of the actor who played each character. I know some people were playing much older characters – a relief to anyone the age Clive Dunn was for the Dad’s Army opener – but hey, if nothing else it’s something to look at as your biological clock ticks inexorably closer to your final tock.)

[NOTE: This is going down well. I’ve now added a bunch more to the list, so if you’re wondering how you measure against characters from Colin’s Sandwich, Porridge, Going Straight, Peep Show, Citizen Smith, Are You Being Served?, Hi-Di-Hi, Sorry!, Yes Minister, Yes, Prime Minister, The Vicar of Dibley, Detectorists, Stath Lets Flats and Ghosts, read on.]

[UPDATE 9 JAN 2022: This got mentioned in the B3TA newsletter (yay etc), which handily pointed out that I bloody well forgot to include Last of the Summer Wine, which is pretty shameful on my part. Added that now. Also added: 15 Storeys High, Dear John, In Sickness and in Health, It Ain’t Half Hot Mum, Keeping Up Appearances, Not Going Out, Rab C. Nesbitt, Some Mothers Do ‘Ave ‘Em, Terry & June and Till Death Us Do Part. You know, for all the people who want to ruin their day by realised they’re now older than Alf Garnett.]

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16 Years Old
Raymond from Going Straight (Nicholas Lindhurst)

18 Years Old
Anthony from The Royle Family (Ralf Little)

20 Years Old
Rodney from Only Fools and Horses (Nicholas Lindhurst)

22 Years Old
Private Pike from Dad’s Army (Ian Lavender)

23 Years Old
Ben from I’m Alan Partridge (James Lance)
Ddave Lister from Red Dwarf (Craig Charles)
Philip Smith from Rising Damp (Don Warrington)
Gunner “Nobby” Clark from It Ain’t Half Hot Mum (Kenneth MacDonald)

24 Years Old
Damien Day from Drop the Dead Donkey (Stephen Tompkinson)
Maria Recamier from ‘Allo ‘Allo! (Francesca Gonshaw)
Rik from The Young Ones (Rik Mayall)
Punkah Wallah Rumzan from It Ain’t Half Hot Mum (Barbar Bhatti)

25 Years Old
Big Suze from Peep Show (Sophie Winkleman)
Bob from Blackadder (Gabrielle Glaister)
Joy Merryweather from Drop the Dead Donkey (Susannah Doyle)
Lukewarm from Porridge (Christopher Biggins)
Vyvyan from The Young Ones (Ade Edmondson)
Gunner Nigel “Parky” Parkin from It Ain’t Half Hot Mum (Christopher Mitchell)

26 Years Old
Daisy Steiner from Spaced (Jessica Stevenson)
Percy/Cpt Darling from Blackadder (Tim McInnerny)

27 Years Old
Alan Moore from Rising Damp (Richard Beckinsale)
Arnold Rimmer from Red Dwarf (Chris Barrie)
Cat from Red Dwarf (Danny John-Jules)
Gerrard from Peep Show (Jim Howick)
Graeme Garden from The Goodies (Graeme Garden)
Ken from Men Behaving Badly (John Thomson)
Lennie Godber from Porridge (Richard Beckinsale)
McLaren from Porridge (Tony Osoba)
Mike Watt from Spaced (Nick Frost)
Queen Elizabeth I from Blackadder (Miranda Richardson)
Shirley Johnson from Citizen Smith (Cheryl Hall)
Sophie from I’m Alan Partridge (Sally Phillips)
Walter Henry “Wolfie” Smith from Citizen Smith (Robert Lindsay)
Daisy from Not Going Out (Katy Wix)

28 Years Old
Barbara Good from The Good Life (Felicity Kendal)
Bernard Ludwig Black from Black Books (Dylan Moran)
Edmund Blackadder from Blackadder (Rowan Atkinson)
George from Blackadder (Hugh Laurie)
Holly from Red Dwarf (Hattie Hayridge)
Kitty from Ghosts (Lolly Adefope)
Linda Patterson from The Fall and Rise of Reginald Perrin (Sally-Jane Spencer)
Lord Melchett from Blackadder (Stephen Fry)
Richard Richard from Filthy Rich & Catflap (Rik Mayall)
Snide/Various from Hancock’s Half Hour (Radio Series) (Kenneth Williams)
Rita Rawlins from Till Death Us Do Part (Una Stubbs)

29 Years Old
Alison Cooper from Ghosts (Charlotte Ritchie)
Bill Oddie from The Goodies (Bill Oddie)
Cassandra from Only Fools and Horses (Gwyneth Strong)
Dean Townsend from Stath Lets Flats (Kiell Smith-Bynoe)
Dobby from Peep Show (Isy Suttie)
Eddie Catflap from Filthy Rich & Catflap (Ade Edmondson)
Father Dougal from Father Ted (Ardal O’Hanlon)
Mark Corrigan from Peep Show (David Mitchell)
Miss Shirley Brahms from Are You Being Served? (Wendy Richard)
Neil from The Young Ones (Nigel Planer)
Sophie Chapman from Peep Show (Olivia Colman)
Tim Bisley from Spaced (Simon Pegg)
Twist Morgan from Spaced (Katy Carmichael)
Gunner “Atlas” Mackintosh from It Ain’t Half Hot Mum (Stuart McGugan)

30 Years Old
Alice Horton from The Vicar of Dibley (Emma Chambers)
Anthony Aloysius St John Hancock from Hancock’s Half Hour (Radio Series) (Tony Hancock)
Dermot from Men Behaving Badly (Harry Enfield)
Gary from Men Behaving Badly (Martin Clunes)
Herr Otto Flick from ‘Allo ‘Allo! (Richard Gibson)
Jeffrey Fairbrother from Hi-Di-Hi (Simon Cadell)
Jeremy “Jez” Usborne from Peep Show (Robert Webb)
Lennie Godber from Going Straight (Richard Beckinsale)
Mike Cooper from Ghosts (Kiell Smith-Bynoe)
Mimi Labonq from ‘Allo ‘Allo! (Sue Hodge)
Muriel from Sorry! (Marguerite Hardiman)
Ruth Jones from Rising Damp (Frances de la Tour)
Stath Charalambos from Stath Lets Flats (Jamie Demetriou)
the Balowskis from The Young Ones (Alexei Sayle)
Tim Brooke-Taylor from The Goodies (Tim Brooke-Taylor)
Tony from Men Behaving Badly (Neil Morrissey)
Warren from Porridge (Sam Kelly)
Mary Nesbitt from Rab C. Nesbitt (Elaine C. Smith)
Bombardier “Solly” Solomons from It Ain’t Half Hot Mum (George Layton)

31 Years Old
Dave Charnley from Drop the Dead Donkey (Neil Pearson)
Dorothy from Men Behaving Badly (Caroline Quentin)
Ken Mills from Citizen Smith (Mike Grady)
Michelle Dubois from ‘Allo ‘Allo! (Kirsten Cooke)
Peggy Ollerenshaw from Hi-Di-Hi (Su Pollard)
Raquel from Only Fools and Horses (Tessa Peake-Jones)
Sally Smedley from Drop the Dead Donkey (Victoria Wicks)
Jeffrey Fourmile from George and Mildred (Norman Eshley)
Betty Spencer from Some Mothers Do ‘Ave ‘Em (Michele Dotrice)
Errol Spears from 15 Storeys High (Benedict Wong)

32 Years Old
Alan Partridge from I’m Alan Partridge (Steve Coogan)
Bill Kerr from Hancock’s Half Hour (Radio Series) (Bill Kerr)
Deborah from Men Behaving Badly (Leslie Ash)
Griselda from Hancock’s Half Hour (Radio Series) (Hattie Jacques)
Joan Greengross from The Fall and Rise of Reginald Perrin (Sue Nicholls)
Marlene from Only Fools and Horses (Sue Holderness)
Mike from The Young Ones (Christopher Ryan)
Mrs Doyle from Father Ted (Pauline McLynn)
Mrs Miggins from Blackadder (Helen Atkinson-Wood)
Private Helga Geerhart from ‘Allo ‘Allo! (Kim Hartman)
Kate from Dear John (Belinda Lang)

33 Years Old
Filthy Ralph from Filthy Rich & Catflap (Nigel Planer)
Granville from Open All Hours (David Jason)
Harry Fenning from Citizen Smith (Stephen Greif)
Jenny Anderson from Colin’s Sandwich (Louisa Rix)
Kryten from Red Dwarf (Robert Llewellyn)
Nick Swainey from One Foot in the Grave (Owen Brenman)
Ollie Reeder from The Thick Of It (Chris Addison)
Richie Rich from Bottom (Rik Mayall)
Yvette Carte-Blanche from ‘Allo ‘Allo! (Vicki Michelle)
Mike Rawlins from Till Death Us Do Part (Anthony Booth)

34 Years Old
Denise from The Royle Family (Caroline Aherne)
Eddie Hitler from Bottom (Ade Edmondson)
Fran Katzenjammer from Black Books (Tamsin Greig)
Frank Baker from Sorry! (Roy Holder)
Helen Cooper from Drop the Dead Donkey (Ingrid Lacey)
Jeff Heaney from Peep Show (Neil Fitzmaurice)
Nurse Gladys Emmanuel from Open All Hours (Lynda Baron)
Patrick Trench from One Foot in the Grave (Angus Deayton)
Polly Sherman from Fawlty Towers (Connie Booth)
Spike Dixon from Hi-Di-Hi (Jeffrey Holland)
Barbara from Not Going Out (Miranda Hart)

35 Years Old
Basil Fawlty from Fawlty Towers (John Cleese)
Colin Watkins from Colin’s Sandwich (Mel Smith)
Manny Bianco from Black Books (Bill Bailey)
Margo Leadbetter from The Good Life (Penelope Keith)
Super Hans from Peep Show (Matt King)
Ann Fourmile from George and Mildred (Sheila Fearn)
Ingrid from Going Straight (Patricia Brake)
Gran from Till Death Us Do Part (Joan Sims)
Rab C. Nesbitt from Rab C. Nesbitt (Gregor Fisher)

36 Years Old
Baldrick from Blackadder (Tony Robinson)
Lieutenant Hubert Gruber from ‘Allo ‘Allo! (Guy Siner)
The Vicar from Dad’s Army (Frank Williams)
Captain Jonathan Tarquin “Tippy” Ashwood from It Ain’t Half Hot Mum (Michael Knowles)

37 Years Old
Ann Bryce from Ever Decreasing Circles (Penelope Wilton)
Geraldine Granger from The Vicar of Dibley (Dawn French)
Gladys Pugh from Hi-Di-Hi (Ruth Madoc)
Harold Steptoe from Steptoe and Son (Harry H. Corbett)
Lynn Benfield from I’m Alan Partridge (Felicity Montagu)
Mr Wilberforce Claybourne Humphries from Are You Being Served? (John Inman)
Paul Ryman from Ever Decreasing Circles (Peter Egan)
Pippa Trench from One Foot in the Grave (Janine Duvitski)
Trigger from Only Fools and Horses (Roger Lloyd Pack)
Frank Spencer from Some Mothers Do ‘Ave ‘Em (Michael Crawford)
Kirk St Moritz / Eric Morris from Dear John (Peter Blake)

38 Years Old
Carole Collins from Stath Lets Flats (Katy Wix)
Dave from The Royle Family (Craig Cash)
Gus Hedges from Drop the Dead Donkey (Robert Duncan)
Mr James/Dick Lucas from Are You Being Served? (Trevor Bannister)
Sonja from I’m Alan Partridge (Amelia Bullmore)
Thomas Thorne from Ghosts (Mathew Baynton)
Tom Patterson from The Fall and Rise of Reginald Perrin (Tim Preece)
Mrs. Carey from Till Death Us Do Part (Pat Coombs)
Ralph Dring from Dear John (Peter Denyer)
Lee from Not Going Out (Lee Mack)

39 Years Old
Alan Johnson from Peep Show (Paterson Joseph)
Boycie from Only Fools and Horses (John Challis)
George Dent from Drop the Dead Donkey (Jeff Rawle)
Harry, Prince of Wales from Blackadder (Robert East)
Mary from Ghosts (Katy Wix)
Michael from I’m Alan Partridge (Simon Greenall)
Mr Cuthbert Rumbold from Are You Being Served? (Nicholas Smith)
Mr Mash from Are You Being Served? (Larry Martyn)
Patrick ‘Pat’ Butcher from Ghosts (Jim Howick)
Private Walker from Dad’s Army (James Beck)
Alf Garnett from Till Death Us Do Part (Warren Mitchell)
Ella Cotter from Rab C. Nesbitt (Barbara Rafferty)
Vince Clark from 15 Storeys High (Sean Lock)
Timothy Gladstone Adams from Not Going Out (Tim Vine)
Gunner/Bombardier “Gloria” Beaumont from It Ain’t Half Hot Mum (Melvyn Hayes)
La-De-Dah Gunner “Paderewski” Jonathan Graham from It Ain’t Half Hot Mum (John Clegg)

40 Years Old
Captain Hans Geering from ‘Allo ‘Allo! (Sam Kelly)
Dave Clifton from I’m Alan Partridge (Phil Cornwell)
Dr Stewart Pearson from The Thick Of It (Vincent Franklin)
Jamie McDonald from The Thick Of It (Paul Higgins)
Mrs Pike from Dad’s Army (Janet Davies)
Ted Bovis from Hi-Di-Hi (Paul Shane)
Gunner “Lofty” Harold Horace Herbert Willy Sugden from It Ain’t Half Hot Mum (Don Estelle)

41 Years Old
ARP Warden Hodges from Dad’s Army (Bill Pertwee)
Dan Miller MP from The Thick Of It (Tony Gardner)
Del Boy from Only Fools and Horses (David Jason)
Holly from Red Dwarf (Norman Lovett)
Sidney Balmoral James from Hancock’s Half Hour (Radio Series) (Sid James)
Sqdn-Ldr Clive Dempster DFC from Hi-Di-Hi (David Griffin)
Tom Good from The Good Life (Richard Briers)

42 Years Old
Alan Hunter from Colin’s Sandwich (Nicholas Ball)
Bernard Woolley from Yes Minister (Derek Fowlds)
Brian Topp from Spaced (Mark Heap)
Des from Colin’s Sandwich (Mike Grady)
Herr Otto Flick from ‘Allo ‘Allo! (David Janson)
Hugo Horton from The Vicar of Dibley (James Fleet)
Sybil Fawlty from Fawlty Towers (Prunella Scales)
Wally Carey from Till Death Us Do Part (Hugh Lloyd)

43 Years Old
Andy Stone from Detectorists (Mackenzie Crook)
Arkwright from Open All Hours (Ronnie Barker)
Barry Stuart-Hargreaves from Hi-Di-Hi (Barry Howard)
Father Ted from Father Ted (Dermot Morgan)
George Roper from George and Mildred (Brian Murphy)
Norman Stanley Fletcher from Porridge (Ronnie Barker)
Rene Artois from ‘Allo ‘Allo! (Gorden Kaye)
Robin from Ghosts (Laurence Rickard)
Terri Coverley from The Thick Of It (Joanna Scanlan)
Battery Sergeant Major Tudor Bryn “Shut Up” Williams from It Ain’t Half Hot Mum (Windsor Davies)
Chai Wallah Muhammad from It Ain’t Half Hot Mum (Dino Shafeek)
Fred Johnson from In Sickness and in Health (Ken Campbell)

44 Years Old
Maggie from Detectorists (Lucy Benjamin)
Manuel from Fawlty Towers (Andrew Sachs)
Nora Batty from Last of the Summer Wine (Kathy Staff)

45 Years Old
Mr Barrowclough from Porridge (Brian Wilde)
Nicola Murray MP from The Thick Of It (Rebecca Front)

46 Years Old
Julian Fawcett MP from Ghosts (Simon Farnaby)
King Richard IV from Blackadder (Brian Blessed)
The Captain from Ghosts (Ben Willbond)
John Lacey from Dear John (Ralph Bates)
Onslow from Keeping Up Appearances (Geoffrey Hughes)

47 Years Old
Elizabeth Perrin from The Fall and Rise of Reginald Perrin (Pauline Yates)
Jerry Leadbetter from The Good Life (Paul Eddington)
Malcolm Tucker from The Thick Of It (Peter Capaldi)
Rupert Rigsby from Rising Damp (Leonard Rossiter)
Jamesie Cotter from Rab C. Nesbitt (Tony Roper)
Foggy from Last of the Summer Wine (Brian Wilde)

48 Years Old
Bernard Woolley from Yes Minister (Derek Fowlds)
Florence Johnson from Citizen Smith (Hilda Braid)
Lance Corporal Jones from Dad’s Army (Clive Dunn)
Lance Stater from Detectorists (Toby Jones)
Mrs Fox from Dad’s Army (Pamela Cundell)
Norman Stanley Fletcher from Going Straight (Ronnie Barker)
Emmet Hawksworth from Keeping Up Appearances (David Griffin)
Rita Rawlins from In Sickness and in Health (Una Stubbs)

49 Years Old
Hilda Hughes from Ever Decreasing Circles (Geraldine Newman)
Howard Hughes from Ever Decreasing Circles (Stanley Lebor)
Jimmy Anderson from The Fall and Rise of Reginald Perrin (Geoffrey Palmer)
Mildred Roper from George and Mildred (Yootha Joyce)
Reginald Iolanthe Perrin from The Fall and Rise of Reginald Perrin (Leonard Rossiter)
Bert Reed from Till Death Us Do Part (Alfie Bass)
Rose from Keeping Up Appearances (Shirley Stelfox)

50 Years Old
Albert Steptoe from Steptoe and Son (Wilfrid Brambell)
Martin Bryce from Ever Decreasing Circles (Richard Briers)
Mr MacKay from Porridge (Fulton Mackay)
Mrs Betty Slocombe from Are You Being Served? (Mollie Sugden)
Owen Newitt from The Vicar of Dibley (Roger Lloyd-Pack)
Sir Humphrey Appleby from Yes Minister (Nigel Hawthorne)
Timothy Lumsden from Sorry! (Ronnie Corbett)
Daisy from Keeping Up Appearances (Judy Cornwell)

51 Years Old
Genial Harry Grout from Porridge (Peter Vaughan)
Cllr David Horton MBE FRCS from The Vicar of Dibley (Gary Waldhorn)
Les from Men Behaving Badly (Dave Atkins)
Yvonne Stuart-Hargreaves from Hi-Di-Hi (Diane Holland)

52 Years Old
Captain Mainwaring from Dad’s Army (Arthur Lowe)
Captain Stephen Peacock from Are You Being Served? (Frank Thornton)
Charlie Johnson from Citizen Smith (Tony Steedman)
Jim Hacker from Yes Minister (Paul Eddington)
Nursie from Blackadder (Patsy Byrne)
Terence ‘Terry’ Medford from Terry and June (Terry Scott)
Cyril from Last of the Summer Wine (Michael Bates)
Clegg from Last of the Summer Wine (Peter Sallis)
Toby from Not Going Out (Hugh Dennis)

53 Years Old
Rt Hon Peter Mannion MP from The Thick Of It (Roger Allam)
Victor Meldrew from One Foot in the Grave (Richard Wilson)
Sir Dennis Hodge from Terry and June (Reginald Marsh)
Lieutenant-Colonel Charles Arthur Digby St John Reynolds from It Ain’t Half Hot Mum (Donald Hewlett)
Bearer Rangi Ram from It Ain’t Half Hot Mum (Michael Bates)

54 Years Old
Barbara from The Royle Family (Sue Johnston)
Charlie Johnson from Citizen Smith (Peter Vaughan)
Gertrude, Queen of Flanders from Blackadder (Elspet Gray)
Joyce from Colin’s Sandwich (Annette Crosbie)
Rt Hon Steve Fleming MP from The Thick Of It (David Haig)
The Verger from Dad’s Army (Edward Sinclair)
June Medford from Terry and June (June Whitfield)
Richard Bucket from Keeping Up Appearances (Clive Swift)

55 Years Old
CJ from The Fall and Rise of Reginald Perrin (John Barron)
Margaret Meldrew from One Foot in the Grave (Annette Crosbie)
Min Reed from Till Death Us Do Part (Patricia Hayes)
Rose from Keeping Up Appearances (Mary Millar)

56 Years Old
Father Jack from Father Ted (Frank Kelly)
Hugh Abbot MP from The Thick Of It (Chris Langham)
Sergeant Wilson from Dad’s Army (John Le Mesurier)
Sir Humphrey Appleby from Yes Minister (Nigel Hawthorne)

58 Years Old
Fred Quilly from Hi-Di-Hi (Felix Bowness)
Jim Hacker from Yes Minister (Paul Eddington)
Else Garnett from Till Death Us Do Part (Dandy Nichols)
Compo from Last of the Summer Wine (Bill Owen)

59 Years Old
Henry Davenport from Drop the Dead Donkey (David Swift)
Jim from The Royle Family (Ricky Tomlinson)
Elizabeth ‘Liz’ Warden from Keeping Up Appearances (Josephine Tewson)
Alf Garnett from In Sickness and in Health (Warren Mitchell)

60 Years Old
Phyllis Lumsden from Sorry! (Barbara Lott)
Wendy Adams from Not Going Out (Deborah Grant)

61 Years Old
Hyacinth Bucket from Keeping Up Appearances (Patricia Routledge)

62 Years Old
Edith Melba Artois from ‘Allo ‘Allo! (Carmen Silvera)

63 Years Old
Colonel Kurt von Strohm from ‘Allo ‘Allo! (Richard Marner)
Jean Warboys from One Foot in the Grave (Doreen Mantle)
Jim Trott from The Vicar of Dibley (Trevor Peacock)

64 Years Old
Sidney Lumsden from Sorry! (William Moore)
Uncle Albert from Only Fools and Horses (Buster Merryfield)
Seymour from Last of the Summer Wine (Michael Aldridge)

65 Years Old
Frank Pickle from The Vicar of Dibley (John Bluthal)
Frank from Not Going Out (Bobby Ball)

66 Years Old
Grandad from Only Fools and Horses (Lennard Pearce)
Monsieur Alfonse from ‘Allo ‘Allo! (Kenneth Connor)
Arthur from In Sickness and in Health (Arthur English)

67 Years Old
Sammy from Hi-Di-Hi (Kenneth Connor)
Wally Batty from Last of the Summer Wine (Joe Gladwin)

68 Years Old
Mr Ernest Grainger from Are You Being Served? (Arthur Brough)
Geoffrey Adams from Not Going Out (Geoffrey Whitehead)

70 Years Old
Major Gowen from Fawlty Towers (Ballard Berkeley)

71 Years Old
Private Frazer from Dad’s Army (John Laurie)

72 Years Old
Letitia Cropley from The Vicar of Dibley (Liz Smith)
Private Godfrey from Dad’s Army (Arnold Ridley)

74 Years Old
Mr Partridge from Hi-Di-Hi (Leslie Dwyer)

76 Years Old
Truly from Last of the Summer Wine (Frank Thornton)

78 Years Old
Else Garnett from In Sickness and in Health (Dandy Nichols)

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So, there we go. A list of ages. Which characters am I the same age as? It’s too depressing to think about, quite frankly.

Still, I won’t panic.

[UPDATE: Want to see the full dataset, including each character/actor’s age at the start of each individual series? Well, here’s a CSV of the entire dataset for you. You’re welcome.]